OK, we've never really done a live blog here, so we're just going to post this thing when the first round is over. (EDIT: We lied. We're updating it every couple of picks or so now.) It's not that we don't know what we're doing (really?), but our little Ice Girl decided to make her presence felt...
Yup, that's my little girl. She wasn't too much up for watching the draft, though. She just wanted to eat and then be put to bed.
Anyway. Enough of the gratuitous baby pictures. We've got a draft to cover!
- Bettman graces us with his presence and tries to make a joke about the passion of the Ottawa fans to rationalize their boos. Thankfully, the microphone is on a stand, so he doesn't get to do his Muhammad Ali impression all night long. (Dodges the tomatoes being thrown)
- It's almost time for the draft to begin... and it's 7:10. Stamkos at #1 is a foregone conclusion. Tampa Bay's brass comes up to pick and give shout-outs to their three different draft parties around town. They then cheap out and give Stamkos the generic #08 jersey. Boo!!!
- Stamkos is apparently all over billboards in Tampa Bay. Can they do that if they haven't signed him?
- Up next at #2 is Los Angeles. They select Drew Doughty. He's got some sick moves. I honestly didn't even know he was a defenseman until they showed it on the screen after the pick (hey, give me a break, I was trying to feed a baby). His closest comparison is Ray Bourque... well, they certainly guaranteed him a career without a Cup, anyway.
- Doughty lost 25 points in an attempt to impress the Kings, his hometown team. After the pick, the studio hosts ask GM Dean Lombardi what his plans are for the rest of the Kings' picks. Lombardi dismissed the question as the hosts laughed awkwardly. This will become a recurring theme tonight.
- Speaking of hosts, Pierre McGuire is wearing one of the nicest ties I've ever seen.
- We have a trade to announce! The crowd cheers. Florida trades Olli Jokinen to Phoenix for Keith Ballard, Nick Boynton, and a 2nd rounder. Good trade for both teams. However, they told us about this trade at the beginning of the broadcast. Sorry, Bettman.
- Ottawa's owner is interviewed. He's asked about Ottawa's trade discussions. Hardy har har.
- Commercial break. Sounds like Sum 41 is the artist they'll play over and over tonight. I guess The Tragically Hip wanted too much money.
- Atlanta picks at #3. They hired a new coach today, they have a premium draft pick - maybe things are turning around in Atlanta. Zach Bogosian is the pick here. His comparison is Rob Blake. And, like clockwork, there's yet another "It's the year of the defensemen!" statement from the talking heads.
- Bettman is caught awkwardly staring at the floor before announcing the Tanguay trade. I think he's already sick of announcing trades.
- The Islanders are the talk of the Draft for the moment, but not because they're laughing stocks. Snow and Wang are talking to Toronto about... something. Apparently, Snow has been on the phone the whole time. As long as he's not talking to Alexei Yashin, I'm happy.
- John Davidson is shown at the Blues' table, looking rather tan. They take defenseman Alex Pietrangelo. The hosts answer my question by stating that he is indeed former goalie Frank Pietrangelo's nephew. That's a relief. One of the idiots compares Pietrangelo to someone named "Larry Zubov". That's Larry Robinson and Sergei Zubov combined.
- JD is asked about what kind of offers the Blues received for the fourth pick. Guess how he responded to that one.
- Darren Dreger spoils all the fun and announces that the Islanders and Leafs have agreed to swap the #5 and #7 picks, but isn't sure what the terms are. They cut to commercial, and when they get back, they're still talking. Bettman is looking down from the stage with a "Hurry the f**k up" look on his face. One of the announcers immediately proclaims that whoever is involved, Toronto got the better deal.
- It's finally announced. The Leafs and Isles swap picks, and the Isles have their choice of the following: Either the 60th overall pick this year and Toronto's third-round pick next year, or the 68th overall pick this year and Toronto's second-rounder next year. Bettman states this twice because he thinks we're all idiots.
- One of the guys - I think it's McGuire - is abolutely gushing over this. He assures us that the Leafs will take Luke Schenn, who will singlehandedly spark the Leafs' rebuilding. Once Schenn is finally picked, his biggest fan proclaims "While Ottawa's fans don't like the Leafs, they would love to have Schenn." Oh, and his closest comparison is to Adam Foote. That's an awful lot to give up for Adam Foote.
- The hosts throw it up to Bettman to announce a trade... only he states that Columbus is on the clock. Whoops. They claimed Columbus traded for R.J. Umberger. Good going, idiots.
- After McGuire finishes rubbing one out to Schenn, Bettman announces the Umberger trade. Columbus is still on the clock.
- Gary Green is adamant that Nikita Filatov is a risky pick at #6 because he can up and go to the Continental Hockey League (the successor to the Russian Super League) whenever he wants. This is big for the Islanders; clearly, they traded down because they thought they could get Filatov at #7.
- Columbus selects Filatov. Fuck. (Sorry. We don't curse a lot here, but it's warranted now.) This kid speaks pretty good English. He's going to be a good one.
- The Islanders recover nicely, immediately trading down to #9 and taking Nashville's second-rounder in the process. Theoretically, they've got three second-rounders right now. But, of course, the Maple Leafs absolutely swindled the Islanders and got the second coming of Bobby Orr in the process. Right, McGuire?
- Bettman must want to kill himself. He figured he'd be in for an easy night of grip-and-grins with player jerseys. Not exactly. Zach was right about the level of activity tonight.
- Detroit coach Mike Babcock shakes hands with one of the prospects. The hosts accuse him of tampering. Then again, Babcock is the same guy who tried to use the HIPAA Compliance law to get out of disclosing Tomas Holmstrom's injury in the Stanley Cup Finals. He was right, by the way.
- Nashville uses its' newly-acquired pick to select Colin Wilson, whose name suggests that he should be a country singer. Instead, they take the first American-born player in the Draft. Those Nashville uniforms look a little different this year. Maybe it's because they gave Wilson a white uniform rather than a blue one.
- Fun fact about Wilson - he was born in New York (his dad was Carey Wilson), but grew up in Winnipeg. He chose to represent the USA instead of Canada. Also, his Wikipedia profile already shows him as a member of the Predators.
- Phoenix is up for #8. I bet they make Gretzky announce the pick to get a cheap pop.
- Yup. The crowd even gives him respect during the generic "hospitality" speech. Mikkel Boekder is the pick here. He's "character personified", whatever that means. He wore a pretty nice shirt to the draft, which goes a long way with me. He's compared with Milan Michalek. We can only hope that he won't follow Michalek in signing a contract extension and immediately getting thrown on the trading block.
- Gretzky hints at a trade in the second round. Nice to see someone throw a bone to our interviewers.
- The Islanders are supposed to be up next. They seem to love odd numbers tonight. Did they trade down to #11 yet?
- Nope. Snow comes up to the podium in a horrible suit and picks Josh Bailey. Word is that he's the guy the Islanders wanted all along. He's only ranked 12th overall by Central Scouting, but he put up 96 points in the OHL last year. Now, suddenly, McGuire praises the Islanders for moving down to get their man.
- Bailey was just compared to Cory Stillman. Gulp. I guess it's better than Adam Foote, though.
- The Canucks are up at #10. The exec announcing the pick is Steve Tambellini, who came very close to becoming the Islanders' GM in 2006. Tambellini mentions Luc Bourdon, who died last month in a motorcycle accident. Classy.
- Vancouver picks Cody Hodgson. One of the idiots says he could be as good as Stamkos, but a "short stride" is holding him back. They do say he's the smartest player in the Draft, though. He's compared to Chris Drury, which is never a bad thing. McGuire makes a good point - Hodgson could be a nice replacement for Trevor Linden.
- Next up is Chicago. Their draft party is at a bar. Jeez. Their pick is Kyle Beach, who was considered "the bad boy of the Draft". He had 27 goals and 231 penalty minutes last year. Canada wouldn't let him play in the Under-18 World Championships. Now here's a guy the Blackhawks fans can get behind.
- The Kings go back up there at #12. Last time, their representative thanked the 2,000 fans watching at their Draft Party (that's it?) and made a bad joke about having "a hundred picks" at this year's Draft. Nobody laughed. It was awkward.
- The idiots speculate that the Kings just traded the pick to Buffalo. Bettman confirms it. Buffalo gives up a 3rd-round pick in 2009 to move up one spot. Shrewd. Bettman looks like he wants to hit the hotel bar pretty hard tonight.
- Buffalo's rep shows up LA by announcing it has 4,000 people at their Draft Party. Oh, snap! The Sabres select Tyler Myers, an extremely tall and thin white guy. TSN, in their infinite wisdom, compares him to Zdeno Chara. I wonder where they got that one from. Still, he's a defenseman, which Buffalo needs pretty badly.
- The Kings take Colten Teubert, a defenseman. He looks like someone who can hold his own at both ends. The Kings' defense seems pretty solid for the next decade or so.
- Teubert has a really, really horrible nameplate on the back of his jersey. I guess the Kings had no idea who to pick, brought a bunch of nameplates, and just pinned one on real quick before going up there.
- Ron Francis comes up to announce the pick for Carolina. Did you know that in 2006, his number was retired in both Carolina and Hartford? That's quite an accomplishment, considering there's no team in Hartford anymore. Carolina takes Zach Boychuk, who compares with Jason Blake. Let's hope that's the Jason Blake we saw on Long Island, not the Toronto version.
- TSN gets a nice shot of Ottawa and Nashville (who is due up next) signing some papers about a trade. Bettman promises the Ottawa fans that they'll like the trade. Ottawa moves up three spots to #15 for their first-round pick (#18) and next year's third-rounder. Given that Buffalo gave up what will be a better pick to move up just one spot, that's a pretty good deal.
- Ottawa brings up Daniel Alfredsson to make the pick. Gag. He's the only male in the building not wearing a tie. Who does he think he is, Vince McMahon? Anyway, Erik Karlsson is the pick. TSN has him ranked at #20, but one of the idiots claims some places had him as high as #5. I guess that's what happens when a Canadian team picks someone.
- Karlsson has already stated that he's staying in Sweden next year. He looks young as hell. And he speaks really, really good English. He's going to be a tremendous player someday. Ottawa GM Bryan Murray proclaims Karlsson as "the bessssht player available".
- Boston GM Peter Chiarelli tries to suck up to the Ottawa crowd by announcing that Ottawa is his home city. He also congratulates the Celtics for their NBA Finals victory. Surely, he realizes that the Bruins will never cut it with the Massholes because his team didn't reach the Stanley Cup Final this year. However, should they ever make it, ESPN will be happy to ride the Boston bandwagon some more.
- Oh, the pick? Sorry. Boston takes Joe Colborne at #16. Colborne gets a jersey with no name on the back of it. That's always a good sign. One of the idiots calls him a "project" and proclaims him as "either a home run or a strike-oot". Eh?
- TSN cuts to commercial, stating that Calgary is on the clock. Calgary picks 25th. We're up to #17. See, I told you they were idiots.
- Anaheim, well-compensated from the Dustin Penner fiasco of last year, gets a plush pick. They're "proud to select" Jake Gardiner. He's American. I love when teams say they're proud to select someone. Gardiner is sporting a pink shirt tonight. He's got guts.
- The idiots reveal that today is Gardiner's 18th birthday. Imagine being drafted on your 18th birthday. How awesome would that be? I spent my 18th birthday home sick.
- Brian Burke is asked about trades, and he confirms that he's received offers for his second first-rounder. The idiots ask him who made the offers and what they're offering. UGH. Do people actually find this stuff funny.
- And with that, we're finally up to date. I'm going to miss being able to fast-forward all the crap parts. Oh, and Versus probably should have budgeted more than 3 1/2 hours for this thing. They're up to #18 and they only have 55 minutes left. I guess "Bloodsport" is going to be joined in progress due to the length of the preceding program.
- Nashville's GM is no-nonsense, not even thanking the city of Ottawa for their hospitality or shouting out their fans at the Nashville Draft Party (if there is one). Nashville selects Chet Pickard, who gives props to fellow Predator pick Colin Wilson on the way to the podium. Pickard was the consensus top goalie in the draft. Good thing Dan Ellis signed that extension today.
- Philadelphia has the 19th overall pick. Luca Sbisa is the pick. I'm almost certain Paul Holmgren butchered his name. Sbisa is compared to Mark Streit, which is a pretty high compliment. Philly's building up quite a solid defensive corps.
- Next up are the Rangers. The idiots mention their "problems" with the NHL, and they all laugh about it. OK, it is pretty funny.
- Commercial break. The Mets are winning 5-2 in the second inning. Apparently, the Mets have joined the American League. Oh, wait, they're playing in Colorado. That explains everything.
- Our sideline reporter (she's a female) informs us that tickets to the Draft were free, but ended up being scalped for up to $125. Damn, those Canadians are crazy.
- The Rangers' brass steps up to the podium, has an awkward exchange with Bettman, and sends up one of the guys to make the "hospitality" speech. This is followed up by: "With our first pick in the 2008 Draft, from the Oshawa Generals, Michael Del Zotto." That's not a real sentence.
- For the second year in a row, the Rangers end up with the once-highly-touted guy that nobody picked. Del Zotto was ranked 15th by TSN, but went #20. He was even projected to be as good as Stamkos and Doughty by this time, but it hasn't worked out. Apparently, his question mark is his maturity. It's a good thing he went to a team whose owners are on the verge of being booted out of the league over the team's website. He's also been accused of being too offensive-minded. He compares with Mathieu Schneider, a legendary Ranger.
- Trade. Devils trade their first-rounder (#21) to the Capitals for their first-round pick and one of their three second-round picks. The idiots just told a story when the Devils traded the 10th overall pick in 1990 to Calgary for the 17th pick. Calgary took Trevor Kidd with the 10th pick; the Devils took Martin Brodeur with the 17th. I hate the Devils.
- The Caps take Anton Gustaffson with their new pick. TSN doesn't even have his stats ready. He was supposed to be drafted higher, but he has a herniated disc which scared teams away.
- They've got to move this thing along. I think the NFL Draft was more briskly-paced.
- Edmonton takes Jordan Eberle with the 22nd overall pick. They show clips of him from when he was like ten years old. He projects out to be similar to Joe Mullen - not bad at all. The idiots proclaim this a "perfect pick". Is that because it's a legitimately good pick, or is it because a Canadian team made the pick? I couldn't tell you that. Eberle grew up an Oilers fan. It's always nice when guys go to their ideal team.
- ANOTHER trade. The Devils trade down once again, this time to #24, getting Minnesota's first-rounder and a third-rounder in 2009. This same trade has been made like five times tonight.
- The Wild's representative makes an awkward segue from the "hospitality" speech into their pick, thanking Ottawa for providing them Tyler Cuma. See, Cuma plays for the Ottawa 67's... get it? Ugh. Anyway, he was ranked 16th by TSN. He's got a great leadership pedigree; on a team with revolving captains, Cuma might lead this team for a long while.
- The Devils finally get around to making their pick. Lou Lamoriello shouts out the 5,000 people at the Prudential Center, which is right in line with their usual attendance. Some other guy announces the pick, which is Mattias Tedenby. Tedenby unquestionably wins the award for the tightest shirt of the evening. He's compared to Mats Naslund, which is a bit much for someone who was just picked 4th overall. Hey, Tyler Cuma was compared to Steve Staios, for Christ's sake!
- After the commercial... Calgary picks! They mean it this time!
- True to their word, Calgary approaches the podium. Darryl Sutter, in great spirits, keeps talking to the people at his table and laughing... until Bettman asks him to hurry up. Hey, if I just traded for Mike Cammalleri, I'd be in a good mood too. The Flames pick Greg Nemisz. Calgary always seems to pick up these good forwards without even trying. Nemisz wore an orange shirt, which looks pretty stupid with Calgary's red, but at least he tried.
- Darryl Sutter looks kind of like Bill Murray. Everyone's exhausted, so the hosts try to liven it up by asking Sutter about trade rumors. The hilarity ensues.
- Only three minutes until the slated start time of "Bloodsport". Let's bring it home for Jean-Claude.
- Brian Burke is spotted talking trades with people that aren't TSN hosts! What a bastard.
- Buffalo drafts Tyler Ennis with the 26th overall pick. Like five people clap. I guess $125 doesn't go as far as it used to. One of the idiots suggests that the Sabres picked Ennis because they wanted to take two guys named Tyler in the first round. It's time to go home, people. The only people who care at this point are the players and their parents.
- Ennis is projected to be similar to Cliff Ronning. That's the pick they got for Brian Campbell. Ronning was an underrated player. But even if Ennis is better than Campbell (or Ronning), does it replace the impact of Buffalo trading away yet another star with an expiring contract? If Ryan Miller leaves next year, the Sabres are in deep trouble.
- Commercial. 6-2 Mets in the 5th.
- Apparently, The Tragically Hip are still with us! They played some song of theirs over the PA. The Capitals take John Carlson, a defenseman, with the 27th overall pick. I can't remember the last time I saw relevant footage of a drafted player.
- Carlson is 6'2" and 212 pounds at just 18 years old. That's impressive. Not surprisingly, he's compared to Mike Komisarek.
- Anaheim and Phoenix are talking trade. They're also doing so right in front of Bettman so he doesn't have to give them the evil eye.
- The Ducks give Phoenix #28 in exchange for the 35th and 39th overall picks. Not bad. Sure beats a third-rounder in 2009.
- The Coyotes have a humongous bucket of popcorn on their draft table. It's even bigger than the large ones at the movie theater.
- Gretzky gets another cheap pop. They select Viktor Tikhonov, former coach of the Russian Red Army. Just kidding; it's the grandson of the legendary coach. He's thought of so highly that TSN didn't even rank him. However, Tikhonov grew up in America and does want to play in North America, so this could be a good pick. Of course, TSN says that despite his "high skill level", most scouts had him at a third-round pick. These people contradict themselves every time they open their mouths.
- Two picks left. Time for another commercial.
- Mike Mussina has ten wins this year? How? Remember when every Yankee fan wanted to cut him? Yeah. Leave it to the uber-loyal fans of the Yankees to be rewarded by those whom they cast off.
- Fun fact: There have been more first-round trades in this draft than in the previous four years combined.
- Atlanta picks at #29 with the pick Pittsburgh gave up in the Marian Hossa trade. Daultan Leveille is the pick. He's said to be one of the fastest guys in the draft. They actually show footage of him... yup, he's fast. I guess they're tired of saying "project", so they say he's a "long-term projection". In other words, he needs work.
- Last up in the first round, the Stanley Cup Champs. It's a shame Montreal didn't have a first-round pick. I love hearing them announce their picks in French.
- Detroit is wasting absolutely no time busting up to the podium. They brought Steve Yzerman along to make the pick - good idea. He gets a nice ovation from the crowd. He's also apparently the vice president of the team. Hmm. Their pick: Thomas McCollum, a goaltender. He could be the heir apparent to Chris Osgood, though goalies tend to take forever to develop.
- McCollum looks like a grown-up version of Junior from "Problem Child". The announcers just stated that he'd probably be in juniors for two years, then spend two years in the AHL, then come up to the big club. So much for him taking over for Osgood. However, he is compared to Ed Belfour. Better him than Eric Fichaud.
- That's a wrap. The crowd is empty at the ScotiaBank Place. So is my brain. Thanks to anyone who read this. The other six rounds will air tomorrow on the NHL Network; needless to say, we will not be live-blogging them. Good night!
