They Didn't Screw It Up!

I'm almost shocked.

The Islanders actually did the right thing. And quite frankly, we fans deserve the right to say that.

Is Scott Gordon an upgrade over Ted Nolan? That remains to be seen. But at this point, it would certainly seem that Gordon is a better fit for this group of players. I guess that's all you can ask for in a coach. The Islanders got that, and perhaps much more.

We can gather that the Islanders will end up paying Gordon less than they would have paid Paul Maurice or Bob Hartley. We can also assume that Gordon has more to prove than any other coach they could have hired. In other words, we don't have to hear about how so-and-so won at some other city. Instead, we get to watch a coach show us he's earned the right to be the head coach of the New York Islanders. A hungry team combined with a hungry coach.

What does that mean? There's a great chance he'll do a better job than any of the other candidates would have.

I can now say that I'm officially excited about this upcoming season for the Islanders. I know it's going to be pretty brutal - we'll be adding the phrase "growing pains" to our Islanders drinking game this season. But there's an optimism now that hasn't been here in some time. We're not staring at a perpetual chase for the eighth seed. We can now look toward the future as a tangible entity, not just the catalyst for more bad trades and rebuilding projects. That does a lot for the fanbase. It'll still take some work to get the casual fans back into the building, but as time progresses, the job will become easier.

It was so important that the Islanders did this right, which is why so many of us have tried to joke about it. Notice how Sparky The Dragon is the leading vote-getter in our poll for who would become the next Islanders' coach. As I've said to anyone who would listen, I'd sooner they went into December with an interim coach and gotten this right than have them hire a retread coach that they'd fire two years from now. This would qualify as getting it right.

Now, the work begins for Mr. Scott Gordon. The Islanders don't like to talk about this one too much, but it's true - with the exception of Al Arbour, no Islander coach has ever made it more than two consecutive seasons without being canned. Is Gordon the guy to change that trend? Let's hope so.

What To Expect At The Coliseum This Year

We here at The Rivalry have been fortunate enough to receive a tour of the Nassau Coliseum in advance of the start of the 2008-09 NHL season. While we only received this tour because we attended the WWE Great American Bash tonight, it still called to mind the many trips we made to the Coliseum last season. It was nice to see the old barn in a different setting. And, as is always the case after a long layoff, it was interesting to see what's changed since last season.

- More Ads: One thing they did a lot of this off-season was sell ad space. There are more ads in the hallways of each gate than ever before; in fact, the sheer amount of advertisement one is greeted with on their way back to the concourse is a bit smothering. In addition, there are more of the 200-level ads we saw last year. There was also a banner in front of the 300-level section directly in line with the goals called "Northville". Since the stage took up the opposite goal area, it's unclear if there's a "Southville". On the subject of "Villes", we were unable to verify if Loudville will be back, as our seats were in Section 307. Either way, be prepared to be inundated with more ads than ever before.

- More Menu Selections: I think. I could have sworn I saw someone carrying around an iced coffee, but I can't say for certain. In any event, there are non-souvenir cups. The rest of the goodies remained pretty much the same. The exotic beers are still located in the "Beers Of The World" stand and in the outside area. We were unable to verify if they jacked up the price of the 24-ounce Labatt Blue can; we can only hope they didn't. Also, everyone's favorite Coliseum snack, the pretzel twist, is still as juicy and succulent as ever. Tonight's twists might have been even better than last year's. The twists are still only $4.50 - the best bargain anywhere. One last thing - we didn't see the guy selling pretzels outside of the Coliseum, but maybe that's on game days only.

- The Dragons Stuff: It's still there... for now. Since Charles Wang has just sold the team, it's unclear what will happen to the Dragons after the current AFL campaign ends. We don't even know if they'll be playing at the Coliseum. Either way, it's almost a given that we'll see a decrease in the promotion of the Dragons now that Wang isn't liable to shove both teams down our throats. Could this mean the end of Sparky The Dragon?

- Soda Guys: They had a guy roaming around selling sodas in the 300 levels, something we never saw before. In the past, this was strictly a delicacy for the lower levels. We pity the poor guy who has to climb the extremely steep Coliseum steps to deliver a Pepsi to someone up in Row T. However, the guy in our section dropped a bunch of his soda bottles, so it's possible that this experiment could be ended before the season starts. It's also something that could be started at games with lower attendance figures and phased in over the season. Who knows? It's worth a shot.

- Parking: As of tonight, it's still $7 to park. Still an extremely spacious lot (something to appreciate if you've been to either Shea or Yankee Stadium this year), and it's still a good idea to park right by the fence alongside Charles Lindbergh Boulevard. If you ever see some people playing hockey and drinking heavily along that fence, you'll know you saw The Rivalry.

- Bootleg Merchandise: If the Coliseum hired extra security to thwart the bootleggers, they called in sick tonight. We were able to not only score bootleg WWE merchandise, but also managed to take our time in negotiating a better rate, verifying that nothing was spelled wrong, and getting change without fear of getting busted. There were people all over; there was even a guy weaving in and out of traffic on Hempstead Turnpike selling stuff. His rates were even better than the guy we talked to. Oops.

- Arbour Banner: It still says "1500". We thought they were putting an updated one up there at Core Of The Four. Maybe they forgot. Or maybe they're waiting for this year's alumni reunion to do it. Or maybe, just maybe, they're talking to Arbour about coaching again. (Note: They aren't.) Either way, it'd be nice if they did something about it. It'd also be nice if they'd get around to taking #16 out of circulation and putting it where it belongs - with the numbers of the other Islander greats.

So that's what we discovered tonight - the Coliseum is pretty much as we remember it, with all of the good things intact and a few surprises. We're sure they have more in store for us this season. However, let's hope the first surprise is a quality coach.

As for the Bash itself? Good card with lots of quality, no-frills wrestling, though a lot of guys we wanted to see weren't there. The highlight of the night, however, was seeing Mets GM Omar Minaya walking in with his kids and then exiting the arena as we were pulling out. We can only hope his evening was enhanced by enjoying a delicious pretzel twist.

The New York Islanders Drinking Game, Version 1.0

Note: In no way is this an advocation of drinking, especially drinking and driving. This is just a great way to document the nuances of our Islanders, both in person and on TV. You don't have to drink to enjoy this one. However, if you're so inclined (and you're not driving), take a piece or two of this, grab some beers, and have fun!

PRE-GAME ON FSN NY
- If Billy Jaffe is staring somewhere besides the camera... 1 drink
- If Butch Goring looks like a leprechaun... 1 drink
- If Deb Kaufman talks out of one side of her mouth... 1 drink
- If there's a cheesy promotion going on that night... 2 drinks
- If the cheesy promotion played a factor in your decision to not attend the game... 5 drinks. Hey, you're not driving - enjoy yourself!
- HIP Injury Report... 1 drink
- GMC Goalie Matchup... 1 drink
- Any other sponsored items... 1 drink
- If Hockey Night NY Live! actually mentions the Islanders... 3 drinks
- If that mention is a tacked-on blurb during "Short Shifts"... 2 extra drinks

GAME
- If Wade Dubielewicz is starting... 2 drinks
- If Ted Nolan is wearing a hideous tie... 1 drink
- If Rick DiPietro unnecessarily touches the puck... 1 drink
- If you yell at Ricky to stay in the net... 3 drinks
- If the TV/scoreboard shows a close-up of Mike Sillinger, a.k.a. "The Pigeon"... 2 drinks
- If Mike Comrie passes up an open shot in favor of making a pass... 3 drinks
- If you find yourself saying out loud that the Islanders need a scorer... 2 drinks
- If you find yourself asking out loud when was the last time Satan/Fedotenko/Vasicek/just about anybody did anything of note... 1 drink for each player you consider
- If you find yourself wondering if Alexei Yashin is available, whether it be out loud or in private... chug the entire bottle
- If the Islanders have a ridiculously high number of shots but only one or two goals... 4 drinks
- If the Islanders let up a shorthanded goal... 3 drinks
- If the Islanders make yet another defensive blunder... 2 drinks
- If Brendan Witt leaves the ice in pain... 1 drink
- If the young guys are the only players who are actually doing anything... 2 drinks
- If a power play comes and goes without as much as a shot on goal... 4 drinks

BROADCAST STUFF
- Do you see in HD? If so, take 2 drinks to level the playing field.
- If Howie Rose makes you legitimately laugh... 2 drinks
- If Billy Jaffe sounds like a homer... 3 drinks
- If either Billy or Howie makes a bad segue... 3 drinks
- If either Billy or Howie breaks off a segue you still can't believe five minutes later... 5 drinks
- If they show that stupid Warren Wallace Geico commercial... 2 drinks each time
- If they show an ad you've already seen 500 times on the NHL Network... chug until you're satisfied. If you don't get the NHL Network, just be thankful you don't understand this one.
- Bring back family time with... a Panasonic Digital Replay! 2 drinks each time. Be careful with this one!
- Any other sponsored items... 1 drink for each
- If Billy and Howie talk about the Hummer Metro Ice Challenge like it actually means something... 2 drinks
- If the trivia question is something ridiculous... 2 drinks
- If Howie calls out producer Larry Roth for making up such a ridiculous question... 1 extra drink
- If you secretly wish they kept trivia statistics like the Rangers do... zero drinks. They really should.
- If Jiggs McDonald is filling in for Howie... 3 drinks
- If you find yourself marvelling over Jiggs' preparedness... 2 drinks
- If you find yourself praying for an Islanders goal just so you can hear him say "He scooooores!" one more time... 1 drink
- When that goal never comes... 10 drinks

INTERMISSION
(all applicable rules from the pre-game remain intact)
- If Deb Kaufman creepily smiles at the interviewee... 1 drink per second of creepy smiles
- If Deb Kaufman asks a stupid question... 2 drinks
- If the player doesn't address the question at all... 2 drinks
- If the player says "Um"... 1 drink per "Um"
- If the player makes eye contact with Deb... 1 drink per instance
- If the player uses cliches... 2 drinks per cliche
- If the previous period's highlights consist of a number of mediocre plays... 3 drinks

AT THE GAME
(all other rules apply)
- Everybody Clap Your Hands! 1 drink per each instance of this chant.
- If you secretly get excited for Billy Jaffe's Keys To The Game... 2 drinks
- If Jaffe asks for crowd participation in his Keys To The Game... 1 drink each time
- If C.J. Papa's intermission report makes you wish for a replay of Billy Jaffe's Keys To The Game... 3 drinks
- If you hear the words grit, character, and heart and immediately want to gag... 3 drinks
- If you're dumbfounded by the intro that plays on the scoreboard... take one drink for each minute you spend trying to figure out why Ted Nolan becomes a cop.
- If Sparky The Dragon pays a visit to your section... 2 drinks
- If you complain about how the people in the cheap seats never win any of the giveaways... 2 drinks
- If you're out of breath after climbing to your top-row seats... take as many drinks as necessary to get your wind back. It should take quite a few.
- If you were smart enough to eschew the $7 Bud Light in favor of the twice-as-big Labatt Blue for $7.25... take one drink to your good fortune.
- If you find yourself wishing you could buy pretzel twists at the supermarket... 2 drinks
- If you express regret for NYMEX for having sponsored the power play... 3 drinks
- If you think the question posed in the NYI Text Poll is the dumbest question ever asked... 4 drinks
- If the response to the NYI Text Poll makes you lose your faith in humanity... 3 drinks
- If the main reason you want the Islanders to win is so you can honk your designated driver's horn all the way down the Meadowbrook... no drinks necessary. That truly is the best part!