The Rangers Make My Job Easy...

It sure saves me time when the Rangers lose continually - I just keep rehashing old points. Okay, I won't do that today, for sure, because I don't want to bore everyone like the Rangers bored me today. Yes, the first 8 or 9 minutes were good, and they have a furious - for them - flurry in the final 6, but for those other 45 minutes, I was teary-eyed and bored.

They lost to a mediocre-at-best, heavily-injured St. Louis Blues team. They barely beat a bottom-feeding, injury-depleted Islanders team. Then tonight, with a huge 2 points on the line (call it the first "four point game" of the season), they blew it. No rebounds, no hitting, no Colton Orr attacking Patrick Kaleta for his constant attack of the Rangers (Kaleta, by the way, grew up about 20 miles from Buffalo in Angola, NY).

I personally have not played hockey in a professional matter. To be honest, I'm not even great at the amateur level (I have a good shot and nice stick-skills, but I skate like a koala). But even I know that if you're a defenseman you should not be behind the other team's net chasing a puck when you have 3 forwards capable of doing it. ("Capable" might be a kind word for this team.)

That said, when Wade Redden pinched behind Patrick Lalime's net (and in doing so directly caused a 2-on-1 which turned into a goal and a 4-1 Sabres' lead), my first thought was, "Who does he think he is? Dmitri Kalinin?" And my second thought was, "How did this guy ever fool people into thinking he was worth more money than Jason Strudwick is?"

Scott Gomez wasn't bad tonight. He also wasn't good, regardless of what Joe Micheletti tells you. Chris Drury was a non-factor, again. I think he almost had a power play shot, though. Redden had one good play, followed by bonehead ones galore. Henrik Lundqvist was repeatedly out of position for the 2nd straight game. Michal Rozsival doesn't deserve to be wearing Harry Howell's #3. Markus Naslund has been awful lately, as well, "goal" or not. Ryan Callahan, Brandon Dubinsky, and Lauri Korpikoski also did as much to contribute to the team today as I did (and I sat on my couch with my chubby dog).

Two good things about tonight: Nigel Dawes had a strong game all around (that was a great pass from Nik Zherdev). And I made a pretty delicious guacamole around 5:30.

* * * 

Accuse the Rangers of a lot of things and you might be correct. However, one thing they aren't is dirty. Dubinsky hit someone - I think Adam Mair - on the knee today, and it looked dirty but it was an accident. He was lining him up, the guy turned, and he got upended.

And once again, say what you want about Gomez - second-line player, can't score, can only skate the puck through the neutral zone than gives it away - but he isn't going to run a goaltender. It's not how he plays. It was an accident, contrary to what Buffalo coach Lindy Ruff thinks. He's a clean player who doesn't take the game too seriously - obviously - and he isn't out to hurt anyone.

Voices: Howie Rose

For anybody who's even remotely interested in the business of broadcasting or even the lives of broadcasters, the NHL Network's Voices is a must-see. Each week, the show profiles a different broadcaster, including clips and interviews with that particular announcer. This week, Islanders broadcaster Howie Rose was on the show.

Overall, the show did a great job of showcasing the abilities of Howie Rose. Howie's a hard guy to dislike; Rangers fans still have reverence for his work with their team, while Islanders fans can claim him as one of their own. Stan Fischler, one of the other broadcasters interviewed, mentioned the difficulty Howie had being accepted by Islanders fans after leaving the Rangers. While the program didn't discuss this at all aside from Fischler's remarks, it remains a remarkable accomplishment that Howie has acclimated himself so well to Long Island.

Obviously, Howie Rose and Stephane Matteau will be forever linked, and Voices devoted an entire segment to the spring of 1994. Islanders fans probably don't want to watch this part, but it's an important part of Rose's career as well as hockey history. Howie discusses his admiration for Marv Albert and how proud he was to share the broadcast of Game 7 versus Vancouver with his idol. In the segment, Rose admits he grew up a Rangers fan and was horribly nervous throughout the third period, which Albert called. At the end, pictures are shown of Rose kissing the Stanley Cup - and after that Matteau call, he has every right to do so.

Unfortunately for Islanders fans, there isn't much devoted to any of Howie's great Islanders calls, probably because there haven't been all that many great moments in his tenure. They did show the Wade Dubielewicz pokecheck that put the Islanders in the playoffs in 2007 as well as some of his amateur calls, which were done on a hand-held tape recorder. Quotes from Rose's current partner Billy Jaffe, his former partner Joe Micheletti, and Rangers announcer Sam Rosen all paint Howie Rose in the best possible light. 

The Voices crew trailed Howie Rose the day of an Islanders-Rangers game on January 13 and gave fans the true experience of a broadcaster. Howie is a noted opponent of the morning skate, so when he showed up to the morning skate and asked Scott Gordon a question, Gordon quipped, "Who's the new guy?" We also got a look at how Howie prepares for the game (mostly game notes and interviews, in contrast to some other broadcasters who pen entire notebooks) as well as a trip inside the booth. Perhaps the most interesting part of the booth is the assistant next to Rose who writes pertinent facts on a Dry-Erase board so Rose and Jaffe can quickly state timely information.

All in all, Voices with Howie Rose was fun and informative, and to be quite honest, it was just nice to see the Islanders being treated like a real team instead of a punchline. Howie Rose's episode of Voices replays tomorrow (Friday) at 4 PM as well as Tuesday at 4 PM. It's definitely worth a look.

Who's The Best Announcing Team In New York?

Slow night tonight, with all the local teams off. In fact, the only local team playing tonight is the Knicks, who are already in mid-season form; Boston is blowing them out in a pre-season game. So what better time to discuss a very important topic... announcing.

We're pretty lucky to live in New York for one crucial reason - we have the best announcers available pretty much anywhere. Five of the six broadcasters who regularly work local games have done national broadcasts over the past few years, with only Chico Resch waiting for the call. Sam Rosen does NFL games for FOX, Joe Micheletti worked for NBC for a couple of years after the lockout, Billy Jaffe is an analyst for Versus, Howie Rose worked a MLB game for Fox this year, and Mike Emrick is the voice of both NBC and Versus. Not bad, eh? We also can't forget Al Trautwig and his yeoman work on the final episode of the first season of NBC's The Contender. Obviously, there's lots of talent here in New York.

So, then, who's the best?

That's tough to say. We're all biased towards our own teams, but most of us here are willing to call a spade a spade. Or, at least I think we are. So let's look at these broadcast teams and see what we've got.

- Mike Emrick/Chico Resch. While the Devils are an abhorrent franchise that ruined hockey, they do have a pretty good broadcast. Mike Emrick is no Gary Thorne, the greatest announcer of all time, but the Doc does a pretty good job. He obviously knows the game well. Lots of people find his voice annoying, but there are a lot of worse guys out there. Emrick is also extremely dedicated; each year, he creates a pronunciation guide which provides the correct pronunciation for the name of every player in the league and sends it to every NHL broadcaster.

(Fun Fact: Emrick not only replaced Thorne as "the voice of American hockey", but he also replaced Thorne as Devils broadcaster on SportsChannel in 1993. Emrick also does hold a doctorate in radio/television/film, hence his nickname of "Doc".)

Chico Resch is probably the most generic of the local broadcasters, but he isn't awful. I'm almost certain he wears a toupee, but we won't hold that against him. However, we WILL hold against him his rampant homerism and perpetual defense of Martin Brodeur. As if Brodeur needs the press to constantly toot his own horn.

All in all, the Devils' guys don't to a bad job... but I think we'd all like to hear our own broadcasters.

- Howie Rose/Billy Jaffe. Just minutes into the first game of the 2007-08 season, Zach sent me a text message saying, "Howie Rose is the biggest homer I've ever heard." He's probably right. But Howie Rose is one of those announcers that does an excellent job, but never gets mentioned with the top announcers in the league. God knows he's seen enough bad hockey in his day and deserves the recognition. Rose isn't a traditional hockey guy - he spends half his year calling the Mets on WFAN - but he knows the game extremely well and rarely gets in his own way.

Jaffe replaced Joe Micheletti after the 2005-06 season and has proven to be very popular with Islander fans. Micheletti probably knew the game better, but Jaffe is more entertaining and charismatic. He also has tremendous chemistry with Rose, which is almost a blessing and a curse. It's great to hear these two go at it, but lopsided games can sometimes end up being conversations about anything and everything outside the world of hockey. It's kind of like watching Al Michaels and John Madden or Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez do a game. They're great when the game is competitive, but when the game is out of reach, hilarity ensues. Depending on your tastes, that can be either a great thing or an awful thing.

- Sam Rosen/Joe Micheletti. When I was younger, I used to always turn on the Ranger broadcasts when the Islanders and Rangers faced off. Even though I wasn't supposed to, I always loved Sam and John Davidson. I thought they were very fair and I wanted to hear what they had to say about my team. They also knew the game better than anybody and were very passionate about their team. Now that JD is gone, Sam is the lone old-school Rangers voice, but he's still getting it done. Like Zach always says, it's annoying to turn on a Rangers broadcast and hear someone like John Giannone doing the game.

Most Islanders fans are familiar with the work of Micheletti, though some hold a grudge toward him for going to the Rangers. (Note: Stop. That's stupid. I'm almost certain he didn't have a ton of say in the decision.) He's not the most exciting color guy in the world, but he knows a ton about the game. My personal favorite memory of Micheletti comes from an Islander game he did where the Islanders beat the Sabres, 3-0. At the end of the game, Lindy Ruff sent out all his goons to start a brawl, which is exactly what happened. Micheletti absolutely flipped out and urged viewers to turn the game off. Of course, Ruff never got in trouble for it, and even did the same thing when Chris Neil cheapshotted Chris Drury two years ago.

Anyway. Micheletti and Rosen do a broadcast that's mostly straightforward, but is made fun by the addition of the trivia questions and trivia stats, which none of the other teams keep. Rose and Jaffe keep things loose and fun (and corny), but they clearly know their stuff. And the Devils have a good crew, but we all hate the Devils and nobody watches their games, so F them. We added a poll on this topic, so feel free to voice your opinions.

A Scoreless Tie...

If tonight's Rangers vs. Maple Leafs game had occured during the 2003-04 season, it would have been a scoreless tie, and the fans would have been angry. However, it was a very exciting game besides the final tally, and the third period was especially fun to watch. 

Personally, I have been in attendance for one game that went 0-0 through regulation, and it was horribly boring. NHL.com doesn't let me search for all games after the lockout like they used to anymore (hmm... am I missing something?) so I'll guess on the day. I believe it was January 2, 2006, the first season back. Rangers vs. Tampa Bay, at MSG. It was an awful, boring, horrible game. Both teams played with a complete lack of passion and I believe Vaclav Prospal scored the game winner quickly into overtime. Awful game.

Tonight's atleast was interesting. While the Rangers did have 32 shots, most of them were bad, low-angle shots that didn't test Vesa Toskala. However, the 8 or 9 good shots they did have that tested the Toronto netminder were turned away, and Toskala did indeed have a very good game. 

Likewise, Steven Valiquette also played good. He wasn't tested tremendously, but when he was called to action, he responded very well. A great showing by the backup, and that is very good news. As good as a team player Kevin Weekes was in his tenure as Henrik Lundqvist's backup, it was always a scary moment when he was announced as starter. Anyone remember 1/11/07, his last game as a Ranger, when he gave up 4 goals on 8 shots against Ottawa and was pulled?

Some other notes...

1) The Rangers should start declining penalties like they do in football. I mean, technically, when they negated two power plays by taking penalties themselves, they almost did that. However, on one power play they stunk it up, and as soon as the Toronto offender left the box, the Rangers played great 5-on-5 thanks to Marc Staal and Aaron Voros. 

2) Chris Drury should either a) play on the fourth line with Colton Orr and Blair Betts or b) be sent to Hartford for a conditioning stint to regain some scoring touch. 

No, I don't think he should be sent to Hartford. I know how the waiver wire works. I do, however, think his playing time should be reduced or he should watch a game in the best suit $7M can buy. Never has a player making so much money whiffed on the puck so many times since Eric Lindros played on the Rangers. 

3) I'm not saying I'm a psychic or anything, but I do watch enough hockey to correctly predict events. How many times today did Sam Rosen or Joe Micheletti tell us that Michal Rozsival shot the puck... and missed the net? Three? Four? Five? 

I'll give it to him, though. At least he was shooting. His overtime shot probably would've gone in on a goalie who wasn't as hot as Toskala.

To Hammer Home a Point / The Paul Mara & Colton Orr Story...

Last night, the Philadelphia Phillies won the National League pennant. For all of you who are immeasurably bored by the sport of baseball (like I am), that means they are going to play in the World Series. (Technically speaking, shouldn't it be called the North American Series? Or the American and One Canadian Team Series?)

Of course, they whipped out the bubbly, and soaked everyone in the locker room with the best champagne that expensive tickets paid for.

For that reason alone, I hope they lose the World Series. Although, to be honest, Tampa Bay or Boston will do the same celebration when they clinch the American League pennant.

As Bryan said a few weeks ago, you shouldn't celebrate until you've won it all. You don't celebrate the right to play for a championship. You celebrate the championship itself. The Penguins, for as much as I was against them in the playoffs last year, didn't celebrate beeating the Flyers with Moet & Chandon and plastic-coated locker rooms. The Red Wings beat Dallas and knew they had more hill to climb before they could enjoy a celebration.

Remember when the Mets clinched the division title and came out on the field with a cigar in his mouth like he just had a newborn baby? He also held a sign gloriously above his head saying "2006 NL East Champs" with the zero's in 2006 replaced by Mets' symbols? How dumb do you think he felt when the Mets blew it in Game 7 of the NLCS?

I really don't have a point other than baseball is a self-serving, boring, overrated sport with a bunch of overgrown, overpaid children wearing tights. I really think the only reason people like it is because it's slow enough to watch. As a girl I know told me a few weeks ago, "It goes slow. I can follow it. Hockey is too fast."

* * * 

Paul Mara took an awful five-minute major last night. While I applaud his passion and his right to stand up for himself, I think the timing was off. Yes, this guy has now jumped up on him on two separate checks, one resulting in time on the IR. And yes, the guy is a punk trying to make a name for himself by injuring people. (Did anyone really know Darcy Tucker before he took out Michael Peca's knees in 2002?) However, it gave Buffalo two points.

However, that's the reason there are enforcers. As much as Sam and Joe and Dave Maloney tell us that his skating and stickhandling have improved tenfold, that's why Colton Orr is sitting on the bench. He shouldn't be fighting the other teams enforcer 3 minutes into the game. But when someone asks Mara "How's your face?" and then leaves his feet on a check, Mara should let it go, check him hard into the boards, then have Colton Orr destroy him on the next shift.

Phrases...

I am one Ranger fan who really likes Joe Micheletti's color commentary. He's no John Davidson, but he knows his stuff, loves the game, doesn't play favorites, and is generally interesting enough to hold my attention even during a Devil's game.

And of course, I love Sam Rosen. I think he's one of the best announcers in the game, and I hate when we get John Giannone or some other guy because Sam is doing a football game.

That said, here are a bunch of phrases I'm sure Ranger fans will be sick of come February...

SAM: Mara SHOOTS! And it's wide.

JOE: Redden was caught pinching on that play, which leads to the Penguins' scoring chance here.

SAM: Parise, gets around Kalinin, and SCORES! The Devils take a 2-1 lead.

JOE: What happened here was Zherdev just trying to do too much with the puck and he winds up giving it away.

SAM: SAVE BY LUNDQVIST! And another! Another save! An outstanding performance by Henrik Lundqvist!

JOE: Colton Orr has really been working on his skating and play with the puck. No goals yet, but his skating is much crisper.

SAM: Chance for Drury up front! And he fans on the shot.

JOE: Naslund almost stuffs the puck in the net, but Biron closes the hole and we have a faceoff.

SAM: It's a power play goal! How about that, Brandon Dubinsky with a great wrist shot.

JOE: Rozsival with the shot, and he misses the net. You notice Michal Rozsival shooting a lot more now that he doesn't have Jaromir Jagr to rely on. 

* * * 

And in case you missed my 08-09 predictions, the Dallas Stars will win the Stanley Cup this year.

Quasi-Live Blog - Rangers vs. Lightning, Game 1

Note: Zach posted his predictions for the 2008-09 NHL season just a few hours ago. Don't forget to scroll down and check them out.

Well, here we are. Another season of NHL hockey. Thirty teams are optimistic for the seasons that lie ahead. Approximately 75% of the league has legitimate playoff aspirations. And then there are the teams that have Lord Stanley in their sights. Two of those teams, the New York Rangers and Tampa Bay Lightning, meet today in Prague.

Don't think the Lightning are legit Cup contenders? Think again. This Lightning team reminds me a LOT of the 2001-02 Islanders. New owners, new coach, new system, and expensive free agents. And had that Islanders team beaten Toronto in Game 7 of the first round, I guarantee you they would have gone to the Finals and gotten killed by Detroit. So just because the Lightning were awful last year, don't write them off this year.

Anyway, this Lightning has a "measuring stick game" right off the bat, facing the Rangers in a game that will either get Tampa Bay excited for the season or will convince fans they're going to suck again. For the Rangers, it's a chance to show their brand of hockey to an international audience. Part of the NHL's big plan is to create an international following, and getting the big-market teams recognition is part of that. So look for the Rangers to put forth their best effort in these games, both on the ice and off of it.

This isn't a true live blog; we're running a little behind here. How behind? Well, it's 1:33 PM, and the first period just ended. These, my friends, are the joys of parenthood. Anyway, let's get to the game!

- We're live, and we're in HD! Not to beat a dead horse or anything, but the Rangers can get a HD broadcast in Prague, while the Islanders can't even get a VHS camcorder at the Coliseum? Please. You've got to hand it to MSG, though; they're pulling out all the stops for this one. They even got Sam Rosen to take a personal day from his Fox NFL schedule and come over to Prague. Very well done.

- The pre-game show is highlighted by an absolutely excruciating exchange between Al Trautwig and Michal Rozsival in which Rozsival tries to tell Trautwig how to order food in Czech. Invariably, just about everything defaults to its English counterpart - pizza, hamburger, puck, so on and so forth. Hardy har har. Surely, Zach is thinking that it doesn't matter where Trautwig orders food, because he doesn't tip for take-out. Yes, there's a story there.

- I know Sam and Joe are calling the game and all, but I'm not entirely convinced they're actually in Prague. For one, in the open to the game, the arena is completely empty. Joe says something about how "it's going to be full", but I'm not buying it. We'll come back to this one.

- Whoever sings the anthem at the O2 Arena (funnily enough, last season's European opener was played in the O2 Arena in England) deserves a raise. She puts the Americans to shame. Ronan Tynan, you've got some competition.

- Sam's mic is too loud. Joe's is way too low. And you can barely hear the crowd or any of the other hockey noises. Again, it sounds more like they're commentating from a remote studio. If that's the case, boo to MSG. They do this when the Red Bulls are on the road, and the difference is night and day. It's one of those things that saves a ton of money, but ultimately makes the game sound like crap. I'm sure they really are there and are just having technical difficulties, but still.

- Classy move by both Tom Renney and the goatee-less Barry Melrose, putting all their Czech players into the starting lineup. I love little things like this.

- Tampa Bay's goalie, Mike Smith, might have the narrowest leg pads in the league. He actually looks the way a goalie is supposed to look. Maybe it's because he's so tall, or maybe it's because his pads are a horrid purpleish color, but those pads do look rather narrow. Either way, he's good. Get him for your fantasy team.

- Joe is back from his hiatus, and thank God for that. He reminds us that the boards are more curved in the corners (good point), while Sam points out the low endboards which could play tricks on the defensemen and goalies. There's also a neutral zone that might be ten feet long. Personally, I wish they'd play this game with the European-styled wide rinks. That would be cool.

- Our first big chance of the game comes when Vincent Lecavalier gets a breakaway and falls down before he can get a good shot off. It almost looked like he was doing one of those flashy breakaways they did in the All-Star Skills Competition last year.

- Nice benches, O2 arena. It looks more like the Rangers are waiting for a bus than getting ready to take the ice.

- Your Rangers captain: Chris Drury. Your Rangers alternate captains: Markus Naslund and Scott Gomez. It must be frightfully reassuring for Ranger fans that their entire leadership corps has a combined two years of Ranger service time. Then again, who else were they going to give a letter to? Blair Betts? This is a young team, by the way. The only guys who are older than 30 are Drury, Naslund, Wade Redden, and Steve Valiquette.

- Speaking of Redden, he earned his paycheck in the first period. Not only did he blow a wide-open chance from the slot, but his giveaway at the blue line led to a three-on-one rush for the Lightning. Redden, by the way, is being paid $79,268.30 to play in this game. That's approximately the amount of money I've made since graduating college.

- Drury gets open for a quasi-breakaway on the penalty kill, but doesn't have a clear path to the net and has to take a crappy shot from the faceoff circle. Not good for either team, to be honest.

- A note on the uniforms tonight. The Lightning have shoved the NHL Premiere patch on the front of their jerseys because God forbid they remove one of their shoulder patches for one weekend. The Rangers have the patch on their shoulders, as they usually do. One thing about the Rangers, though - they're wearing curved shirttails, which look ridiculous. They'd fixed this at some point last year - NHLuniforms.com shows the Rangers were the only team not to wear curved shirttails last year - but the stupid look is back. Come on. These are hockey jerseys, not dress shirts.

- We end the first period with no score and two quality goaltending performances. The intermission brings yet another airing of that stupid Trautwig-Rozsival Czech "lesson". Ugh. At least it's better than another interview where Al's mic goes out in the middle of a question.

- Random notes on the Lightning's roster. First, Jamie Heward just signed a one-year contract with them. Jamie Heward wasn't even good on a 50-point Islanders team in 2000. Good for him, though. They also have Chris Gratton, who always seems to go to other teams, only to come back to Tampa. This is his third tour of duty with the Lightning. Fun fact about Gratton - he hasn't broken the 20-goal mark since 1997-98. Lastly, there's modeling yourself off of a different team, and then there's out-and-out ripping them off. The Lightning have FOUR players who played for Pittsburgh last year - Gary Roberts, Ryan Malone, Adam Hall, and Mark Recchi. We haven't seen this kind of "emulation" since the Kings and Rangers were fighting for ex-Oilers in the early 90s.

- A short list of things I haven't heard today - a goal horn, a whistle, a slapshot, a received pass, a crunch into the boards, or just about any of the sounds you normally hear while watching a hockey game. That's kind of annoying. Then again, I'm the same person who turns the commentary in NHL 09 off in Be A Pro mode just to hear these sounds, so maybe I'm a bit biased.

- Apparently, Steven Stamkos is living with Gary Roberts this year. Oh boy. Stamkos has the opportunity to learn about the finer points of dirty play from one of the most notorious cheap-shot artists in recent memory. There are parts of Kenny Jonsson's brain that are still stuck in the Air Canada Centre boards. Thanks a lot, you prick.

- I think I've figured Wade Redden out on one level. He seems to know exactly where to be - i.e. when to pinch in from the point, etc. - but he has trouble finishing. He also doesn't seem to be able to get back on D very well. This is going to be a fun six years, Ranger fans.

- The nicest one-on-one move so far has come from Colton Orr, who pulled off a beautiful move along the boards to drive to the net. I'm impressed.

- Mike Smith can handle the puck. He's headed for Brodeur/DiPietro territory, and soon. Smith showed promise in Dallas, but he wasn't going to play in front of Marty Turco. He's got his chance in Tampa. You just hope the defense can hold up. Melrose isn't exactly known as a defensive-minded coach.

- Cliche alert! Joe (paraphrased): "Your goalie has to be your best penalty killer". Soon to come from Joe - if the Rangers want to win this game, they have to take it one shift at a time, win the one-on-one battles, and not try to do too much.

- The second period has honestly been pretty uneventful so far. And by so far, I mean there are two minutes left in it. Some chances for both teams and some technical difficulties from MSG, but that's about it. And just as soon as I type that, Naslund gets open and takes a shot from the faceoff dot. Smith gets a pad on it, but it still goes in. So your first goal of the season is Naslund from Gomez, the two A's getting it done. And, of course, technical difficulties ruin the replay.

- We end the second period with the Rangers winning 1-0 and outshooting the Lightning by a count of 30-11. Wow. Who knew the Lightning would be this bad defensively and offensively? The Rangers have had far more chances on offense, but Smith has been excellent so far.

- The intermission report takes us to the Bohemia Beer Garden, which has been mentioned like five times by Sam. Ron Duguay is there. He's a good-looking guy. Someone painted the Rangers logo on his face. Oh boy!

- Every time they show a shot of Prague, it looks gorgeous. It looks like a town you'd encounter in a role-playing game. What a place. If they attempted to get a picturesque shot of Uniondale, you'd end up looking at the beaten-down facade of a bodega or something.

- Interesting note from Dave Maloney - of Tampa's 11 shots, five belong to Lecavalier. This game is going to break wide open in the third, guaranteed.

- One of the perks of being behind is that I can put the Ottawa-Pittsburgh game on picture-in-picture. It's already 1-0 Pittsburgh just four minutes in. Must be nice.

- Mike Smith is hurt after a nice shot by Dan "Don't Call Me Joe" Girardi. We'll most likely be seeing Olie The Goalie tomorrow, if not sooner.

- Every time they show an ad in the top left corner for MSG programming, I keep thinking it's the Optimum Voice Caller ID thing. A quick recap - the Rangers play again tomorrow at noon, and the Red Bulls play tonight at 7:30. I love soccer, but I can't get into the Red Bulls. Nobody wants to watch soccer being played on a field full of football markings in front of a sea of empty seats. The proposed MLS team in Queens will be a huge hit. The Red Bulls might never be.

- Just a second after Smith makes a huge save, Martin St. Louis skates right by Dmitri Kalinin and backhands one over Lundqvist to tie the game. How often does that happen? Meanwhile, on the little screen, Shean Donovan ties it up for Ottawa; in so doing so, the Senators match their goal tally from the entire first round of last year's playoffs.

- Paul Mara fires one in from the point; Naslund whacks away at Smith's glove to no avail. That had to have killed Smith, who is still feeling the effects from being shaken up earlier this period. The Rangers are now 0-for-6 on the power play.

- Looks like the new ad-nauseum commercial for this year is going to be anti-tobacco commercial with the "hole in the throat" guy. Not that there's anything funny about permanent tracheotomies or anything. But if you're a Mets fan, you've seen these commercials a billion times already on SNY. Now, you get to watch them even more on MSG. But hey, that's what you get for being a Rangers fan. If this ad is as omnipresent on MSG Plus, I'll give myself a permanent tracheotomy by shooting myself in the throat.

- First overall pick Steven Stamkos gets clear on a breakaway - again, blowing right by Kalinin - but Lundqvist makes a tremendous save. Joe tries to give Kalinin credit for good stickwork, but the truth is he's been a statue back there all night. You don't need to whack someone with a stick if you keep him in front of you. His contract terms were not disclosed, so I can't tell you how much he's getting paid to suck today. But you're probably better off not knowing anyway.

- The game finally sounds good. It only took them like 50 minutes to figure it all out. At least tomorrow's broadcast will be much improved.

- "It's a power play goal!" Sam Rosen's favorite phrase comes out for a goal by Brandon Dubinsky on the Rangers' seventh power play of the game. You'd almost expect Smith to make that save, but he was screened by a total of three people. 2-1 Rangers, about five minutes left.

- Speaking of favorite phrases, have we had any Panasonic Digital Replays today? I can't recall one. How am I going to bring back family time without Panasonic - Ideas For Life?

- Chris Drury takes an atrocious offensive-zone penalty. Way to lead by example, moneybags. Anyway, the Lightning get an extra 30 seconds of power play time and get a decent shot off.

- The Lightning get two beautiful chances on the power play, but Lundqvist is capable and the defense does a great job clearing out the crease. Down the stretch, Melrose doesn't pull the goalie until the 20-second mark, Tampa doesn't threaten, and the Rangers win 2-1.

- Good players today - Naslund, Gomez, Dubinsky, Staal, Lecavalier, and Stamkos. Particularly awful players today - Redden and Kalinin.

- We'll do it again tomorrow, same two teams, same location. Only we probably won't be live blogging it. Hope you enjoyed!

Shots, Stats, And Chokes

I barely watched any hockey tonight. You don't want to know what I was doing. Seriously. I'd rather watch "The Trap - The Very Best Of The New Jersey Devils" ten times in a row than relive this evening. And no, that DVD doesn't exist... thank the Lord.

A couple more quick thoughts...

- WTF is up with teams not shooting the puck in the playoffs? Calgary managed ten shots in front of their home crowd. Despite getting blown out in two straight, Anaheim fired fifteen shots on Marty Turco last night; had they not won the game, they'd be getting killed in the papers right now. The same applies to Nashville and their fourteen shots tonight.

I don't get it. You don't shoot, you don't score. Haven't we all heard a million times about how good things happen when you put the puck on net? And how many goals end up being these perfect shots anyway? I'd say at least one-third of all goals scored are off rebounds or deflections, or are somehow modified from the shooter's original intentions. So why not just shoot the puck and see what happens?

- Ottawa. I've been dying to say this for a very long time, but I didn't want to jinx it. Ottawa's nosedive this season is worse than the Mets' collapse last September. All the crap I've heard about The Collapse, as it's now known, should be thrown at Ottawa at least three times as hard.

That Ottawa got into the playoffs is completely irrelevant. Showing up and immediately folding doesn't mean anything. Going back to The Collapse, it didn't matter that Philadelphia overtook the Mets because they got killed in three straight by Colorado - and the Mets would have gotten beaten just as badly. Ottawa doesn't deserve special treatment just for getting in. Two of the games were close enough that the Senators pulled their goalie at the end (both times, Pittsburgh scored empty-net goals), but the other two were blowouts. And if not for Martin Gerber, the series would have been a complete blowout. Five goals in four games isn't going to get it done - and, by the way, Ottawa was just one goal behind Montreal for tops in the league in goals scored during the regular season.

Looks like, at the very least, Bryan "The Lisp" Murray will be looking for a new job this summer. Here's hoping he gets a job with Versus, TSN, or the NHL Network. But it's likely Murray won't be the only one. However, since Ottawa put so much money into signing Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley to extensions this year, how much room are they going to have for free agents? This situation is going to get worse before it gets better.

- Ottawa was kind enough to bow out in 4 games, which means I'm 1-for-1 in predicting finished series. I know I can't have a perfect first round because San Jose-Calgary is going to go at least six games (I had the Sharks in 5), but the other six matchups are up for grabs.

As for Zach, his prediction of Ottawa over Pittsburgh in 7 games didn't exactly pan out. It happens. He also can't get Detroit in 5 or the Sharks in 5. However, a Canadiens win tomorrow gives him a correct prediction in that series. Unfortunately, we don't have access to the predictions made by Sam, Joe, or GiaWigs. Maybe next year.