Beauty And The Moulson

It was only a matter of time before the Matt Moulson puff piece was written. This actually came out about a week and a half ago, but it was so horrendous I had to share it. No, there are no Molson Canadian beer puns in this one... but fear not, as some awful wordplay still awaits you! By the way, sorry if the font jumps around in size a bit - you can blame ESPN.com's cracked web staff for that.

ST. LOUIS --

Ooh, look at me! I get to write an article from the road, and YOU don't!

At the risk of offending Linda Hamilton and the entire Moulson family and that furry guy in the old television series (Ron Perlman)

Anyone have any idea what this means? Me either. But I'm sure it'd make sense if I were like 30 years older.

and maybe even John Tavares, there is more than a little beauty-and-beast action with the New York Islanders' dynamic duo of top rookie Tavares and out-of-nowhere winger Matt Moulson.

Beauty-and-beast? Dynamic duo? Asinine alliteration? The books I read my 19-month-old daughter feature more clever wordplay.

But put it this way: Moulson, the hitherto anonymous 26-year-old winger who quickly has become the cheese to Tavares' macaroni through the first quarter of this surprising season for the Islanders, was drafted in the ninth round of the 2003 draft, 263rd overall.

There are 43 words in this sentence. I'll sum them up in four - Matt Moulson was unheralded.

They don't even have a ninth round anymore. GMs figured it was better to pack up early and go golfing or head to a bar than stick around and draft players in the ninth round.

Or, the eighth and ninth rounds of the draft were lopped off after the lockout because GMs had like a week to prepare for the draft once the lockout ended. Or the owners didn't to be stuck paying two extra draft picks. Either way, I'm sure it had nothing to do with golfing or drinking. By the way, Mark Streit was a 9th round selection of Montreal in 2004, meaning the Islanders probably have more 9th round draft picks on their active roster than any other team in history.

Does Moulson, who has 18 points, including five multipoint efforts, through the Islanders' first 23 games, get tired of being treated like the hockey guy who fell to Earth?

He laughed.

"It doesn't really bother me," he told ESPN.com. "I'm here now in the NHL. I guess I have an interesting story to tell. It's always interesting for people to find out things like that and maybe a good story for some younger kids."

See, this is why we don't go the route of some of our Blog Box colleagues and actually talk to the players. They do a good job with it. We can't. Why? Because hockey players are BORING. Sorry to say it, but it's true. What was Moulson supposed to say here? "I'm tired of being treated like the hockey guy who fell to Earth"? Furthermore, what does that even mean? Did Moulson arrive in a UFO? My head hurts now.

Indeed, an apprehensive Moulson was in regular touch with agent Wade Arnott as the July free-agency period approached and his contract with the Los Angeles Kings expired. "I was bugging him every day, 'Where do you think I'm going to end up?'" Moulson said.

I'm sure Wade Arnott was like, "Who's this Moulson guy who keeps calling me every day?".

Tavares was among the first people Moulson called when his deal was completed during that first week of free agency.

"I was right on the phone to Johnny, and it was a pretty good moment," Moulson said. "I still didn't know what was going to come of it, but I was excited."

I distinctly recall reading about the Moulson signing and loudly exclaiming the following words - "Who the hell is Matt Moulson?". So did every single Islanders fan out there - even the ones who *knew* he'd work out from the moment he signed the contract.

"Matt was a guy that I knew from my days in Providence when he was playing in Manchester. I thought he had the ability to score. But I went back and I watched some of the goals in the NHL, which were goal scorer-type goals, and as it turned out through exhibition, he was our leading goal scorer," Gordon told ESPN.com.

Yes, because scoring goals in exhibition games guarantees success in the regular season. You know who led the league in points during the pre-season? Former Islander Mike Comrie, he of the eight points in 16 regular season games. But I'm sure he'll rebound in plenty of time to win the Hart and Art Ross Trophies, even if he's got mono right now.

"The thing that's good about Matt is if he's not scoring from the tops of the circle, he's scoring from the front of the net. That ability to score from two different places, you're talking about two different types of players. Some guys don't like to go into traffic. But the fact he was willing to do that, I thought it would be a good complement for John."

Truer words have never been spoken. And by "truer words", I mean "cliches that apply to virtually every forward in the NHL".

And?

"We didn't have a lot of options," Gordon added.

That's more like it.

"Actually, when people kept cutting down my skating, cutting down my skating, Mike O'Connell, when he was with L.A., he told me to look at a player named Andrew Brunette," Moulson said, crediting the former Bruins GM who is now with the Kings' player-development staff.

"I used to tape all his games and watch them and watch what he did," Moulson said. "[Brunette] may not be the fastest guy out there, but he's great at protecting the puck and making plays around the net and getting to the net. He was up and down in the AHL as well starting his career, and he's made a pretty good player of himself and pretty good name for himself in this league. He's someone I followed closely."
Okay, this is actually something useful. This is something I didn't know and is nice to hear. It makes infinitely more sense to emulate a guy like Brunette than a superstar. But nobody does it, because you never see the grinders on SportsCenter. Oh, wait, you never see the superstars of the NHL on SportsCenter, either.

This week Moulson met his guide, who of course had no idea he'd had any impact whatsoever on his career.

"He gave me a stick last night," Moulson said happily.

You mean Brunette stuck him, as in speared him?
ZOMG! ROFLMAO!

"No, no, he signed a stick and gave it to me last night. I got it this morning," Moulson said.
Oh. See, hockey players ARE boring.

"I got it this morning, and I had a grin from ear to ear. I told him he was one of my favorite players."
I'm sure Andrew Brunette has never been referred to as "one of my favorite players" by anybody outside of the Brunette family and Matt Moulson.

"I told him when he made the team out of camp, 'Treat every day like it's your last, because you don't know,'" Gordon said. "'You battled high odds to make the team, but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be a different day. You have to prove everybody right that we made the right decision every single day.'"

That's right, Scott Gordon. Matt Moulson's singular focus over his first 27 games has been to prove to everybody that Garth Snow is a genius. As opposed to, you know, proving that he's actually a pretty good player. Moulson, that is, not Snow. We all know Snow could never make it in the post-lockout NHL.

"It seems funny from where I started from until now. I get two goals against Boston [Monday night], and I'm upset because I wanted a third one. I'm not disappointed but wanting more after that. Coming from where I came from, I never thought I'd be wanting more after a two-goal game in the NHL."
If I had a two-goal game in the NHL, I'd be wanting more. But it'd probably involve sexual favors, as opposed to a third goal.

Beautiful.
The first few times I read this, I thought to myself, "That's an odd way to end this piece." Eventually, I realized it was a play on the copious beauty-and-the-beast analogies found in the article, many of which I edited out for the benefit of your sanity. I still have no proof of any beast-like tendencies in Matt Moulson, or Andrew Brunette, for that matter. So, you know, hooray for Matt Moulson and all that.

The NHL Is Absolutely SCREWED

There are a lot of people out there who write about hockey. Unfortunately, many of these people are awful at their jobs. Channeling the spirit of Fire Joe Morgan (but with a lot less snarkiness), here's our response to a recent article that was particularly loathsome.

A new season is dawning and life for the NHL can't get any worse ... or could it?

Yes, it could get worse. MUCH worse. Remember five years ago, when there WASN'T a new season dawning?

I'm talking about a league that in three months went from showcasing one of the greatest exhibitions of playoff hockey in decades -- the seven-game Stanley Cup Final between the Red Wings and Penguins -- to dismissing Wayne Gretzky as collateral damage in a bankruptcy case that even with a judicial decision remains unresolved. There was also the dispute between DirecTV and Versus that threatened to black out opening night games, rumors of fiscal distress in South Florida, Atlanta, Long Island and elsewhere, yet another owner (Boots Del Biaggio) doing the perp-walk for investor fraud, fallout from Dany Heatley's ugly forced trade, a hijacked players association, and a young star in handcuffs for allegedly pummeling a 62-year-old cab driver over 20 cents change.

OK, let's compare this to the NFL. This year, the NFL reinstated the recently jailed Michael Vick after a whopping two-game suspension. They have a top-10 draft pick who intends to sit out the season because he wants more money. An insane amount of retired players are either dead broke, horribly brain damaged, or both. One of their star players is in jail for shooting himself in a night club. NFL players are suspended on a weekly basis for drug abuse or off-field discipline problems. And the NHL is the league with a problem? Please.

BTW, that "great exhibition in playoff hockey" aired on a Friday night and wasn't even shown in New York bars because most New Yorkers thought a regular season game between the Mets and Yankees was more important. Great game (Wings-Pens, that is), but let's not pretend it was some seminal moment in sports history.

You want to say it can't possibly sink any lower. Not even the NHL can slide so far so fast, but there is cause to wonder: If all that was what the summer brought, what's on the horizon for fall, winter and spring? Thankfully, there is some good news:

The games are back.

Whew. I was really beginning to wonder what was on the horizon for fall, winter and spring. I forgot hockey players actually play games. Thanks for the reminder.

Joining Ovechkin at the top are the twin stars of Pittsburgh: Sidney Crosby (the Penguins' second coming of Lemieux, albeit in a much smaller package) and Evgeni Malkin, last season's scoring champ and playoff MVP. In Boston, Vezina Trophy-winning goalie Tim Thomas and Norris Trophy defenseman Zdeno Chara are the inspirational forces for a surging team. They are supported by the vastly underrated Marc Savard, who feeds slick passes to a player many Bruins fans consider the Next Cam Neely: winger Milan Lucic.

There is strength of size and number in Philadelphia where the complete game of Jeff Carter and heady play of Mike Richards have fans speaking in tones reserved for the days when Bobby Clarke and Bill Barber carried the Broad Street Bullies to glory. It doesn't hurt (unless you're the competition) that the Flyers brought over the much-feared Chris Pronger to anchor their improved defense. If Ray Emery competes to the level of his ability in goal, the Flyers should contend for a spot in the Cup final this spring and could well win it all.

In the West, the still-potent Red Wings will try to blend the usual mix of veteran stars and emerging talent and reach the Cup final for the third time in as many seasons. Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg and Nicklas Lidstrom anchor the group, but the supporting cast is hungry for a chance at redemption. That will happen only if the multi-talented Sharks can't find their game again in the postseason, or if the swift, determined Blackhawks of andJonathan Toews continue to grow.

This thing reads like a NBC press release. A whole paragraph about the Flyers, who lost in the first round last year. Half a paragraph about the defending Stanley Cup champions. Half a paragraph about the Bruins, who have had exactly one good season since the lockout. Meanwhile, the Red Wings get two sentences and the Sharks and Blackhawks get to share one whopping sentence. Sounds about right.

After building on a startling jump in momentum coming out of the 2004-05 lockout and largely delivering on its promise for a better, faster, more exciting game, the league's momentum, at least regarding public perception, appears to have stalled. One might argue that it has actually crashed.

Public perception has "crashed", even though the league has better TV ratings than it did before the lockout. That the NHL has done this with ESPN going out of its way to avoid covering hockey, if not sabotage the league altogether, is huge. Furthermore, good luck finding even one hockey fan who gives a rat's ass about the "public perception" of the NHL.

A rising tide of anger doesn't bode well, especially when the league, which might have laid claim to the higher ground after the costly lockout brought the owners' much-wanted salary cap, is grieving almost every issue that comes before it, costing the players time and money and building an overriding sense of ill will. As a fan, you might argue that all this shouldn't matter, that these are professionals who are (highly) paid to play. But hockey players are people, too, and the issues that are rocking their usually secure world are taking a toll.

I have no idea what this paragraph means. That's especially true of the 80-word introductory sentence.

Most aren't likely to go away, not without another fight or three, but at least there is hockey on the ice now, hope in the hearts of fans, and a very good chance the game will produce a season every bit as memorable as the last. For those who truly love hockey, pretty much all we can do is hope...that we can see the games.

OOH! A shot at the NHL's TV contract! How original!

In what has become an eternal quest to find a TV provider other than ESPN, the league's current U.S. cable provider, Versus, is in a snit fight with satellite distributor DirecTV. The dispute has scuttled some 14 million viewers. It's a problem that may yet be resolved, but it smacks of the kind the league had with Madison Square Garden over internet rights, and it seems to open the door for MSG or some other regional network to cut a deal separate of league partners and concentrate on serving places where hockey draws an audience without trying to air games in areas where people simply refuse to watch.

These run-on sentences are making me nauseous.

Oh, and MSG can barely service New York and New Jersey. I'm sure the other 48 states will be no problem.

Of course, those people will be missing some good stuff on the ice. So, yes, let us hope for the best -- especially that things don't get worse.

YES. Things are SO awful now. Patrick Kane punching a cab driver is far, far worse than a lost season and the legitimate fear that the league would fold. Godspeed, NHL.

Where Are The Now: Vladimir Konstantinov

I normally don't post links here, or ask you to check something out, but you have to take a look at this ESPN video on Vladimir Konstantinov.

Konstantinov, for those who don't know, was a defenseman on the Red Wings team that won the Stanley Cup in 1997. Six days later, the limousine he was in was in an accident and he was horribly injured.

Sit through the 15-second commercial and you'll find a great video that lasts about 5 minutes. It's very sad. I wouldn't be posting it on this website if I didn't think it was worth watching.

Where Are The Now: Vladimir Konstantinov

Why Stay?...

For the past few months, I have been mulling around a question in my head...

Why Stay?

Why would the NHL even want to stay in Phoenix? The team averages under 15,000 fans per game, yet Gary Bettman keeps saying how committed the NHL is to hockey in Phoenix. In Hamilton, Ontario, 12,000 signed up for season tickets a few years ago without even having a team. They didn't just put their name on a list, they gave Jim Balsillie a deposit for them, hoping he would bring them a team.

But this isn't about Hamilton. You could easily replace Hamilton with Seattle, Toronto, Winnipeg, Kansas City, Quebec City, or (my personal choice) Las Vegas.

Why stay in Phoenix? The team is a drag to the owners of the teams who actually make money because of revenue sharing. It is an embarrassment to the league to have a team file bankruptcy.

Are the 14,632 fans they averaged last year really that important to the rest of the league? (By the way, their attendance is dwindling, the year before they averaged 14,820.)

Other cities are begging for teams. Balsillie is intent on moving them to Hamilton, which has been hockey-ready for years. Seattle just lost its basketball team, its football team is garbage, and its baseball team lost over 100 games last year. Las Vegas has said it wants a team, regardless of league. Same for Kansas City, who offered up their Sprint Center for free. Winnipeg wants their team back; Quebec is such a good market that it houses entire leagues in the city. A 2nd team in Toronto would do so good that the Maple Leafs actually had to nix the idea out of greed, not necessity.

Is Gary Bettman really that stubborn to admit his decision to grant a franchise to Phoenix was a mistake? I've made mistakes, and I admit them. Mine don't cost people millions of dollars.

Hockey in Arizona is a joke. For that matter, hockey in Miami and Atlanta is ridiculous also, but that's for another day.

Is it about expanding the game within the U.S.A.? There are better ways to do that then with a 25% empty building, and the four letters for that are E, S, P, and N.

There are probably 13,000 people who would actually care if a young-and-coming team left the desert. A ton more would care if Canada got another team.

Come on, Gary. Admit your mistake. Eat your crow. Stop backing the Coyotes. Sometimes, you have to kill your weakest link. Or at least move them to a place where people want them.

How Good Are Predictions, Part II...

Each year, I write down a bunch of predictions from "industry experts," just to see how close they are. I also write down mine to compare. Last September, I posted the results on this page. I figured that we have some off-days now between playoff rounds, and since both local teams (and even the Devils) are out, why not do this post now as opposed to September.

Last year, for the record, ESPN, Newsday's Steve Zipay, and I all had 24 points. The big winner was Dwayne Kessel, aka "Eklund," from some Internet site that spouts "rumors," with 27 points.

This year, the combatants are once again Eklund, and myself. Joining the mix are Newsday's Mark Herrman, Sports Illustrated, and our Islanders' writer Bryan. Representing a once-anonymous ESPN will be E.J. Hradek.

(Scoring: 1 point for having a team correctly missing or making the playoffs; 2 points for predicting their exact position in the Conference.)

6th Place
I am sadly bringing up the rear on this campaign. A few gambles that I took (Tampa Bay winning the Southeast, Devils missing the playoffs, Colorado winning the Northwest, Edmonton and Phoenix making the playoffs) didn't exactly pan out. In fact, of 30 positions in the NHL, the only one I hit on the nose was Minnesota at 9th in the West. Sad, sad, sad predicting. I even had the Islanders coming in 14th in the East, ahead of Atlanta. I actually only predicted 1 division winner (Detroit, 1st in the West). It also appears my Dallas versus either Montreal or the Rangers in the Finals won't happen. In fact, I even said that Sean Avery would be sipping from the Stanley Cup this June.
19 points

5th Place
I shouldn't feel so bad, though. E.J. Hradek, who works for ESPN and hosts NHL Live on XM and the NHL Network, only beat me by 3 points. He only predicted 2 division winners (Red Wings and Capitals). The also picked the Devils to miss the playoffs, as well as Boston, both of whom won their division. He predicted Edmonton to win the Northwest. I still think my Colorado prediction was better! His bold prediction of Detroit over Pittsburgh in the Finals still can happen, though.
23 points

4th Place
Newcomer Mark Herrman, subbing for Zipay this year, ended in 4th. He nailed the Rangers in 7th, but that's about it. He picked 3 division winners, all in the wrong order (Washington, Detroit, San Jose). Dallas winning the Pacific instead of San Jose was his downfall. His Detroit prediction for the Cup Finals looks good, but Montreal will not be joining them. Better luck next year.
23 points

3rd Place
The bronze medal goes to an anonymous person at Sports Illustrated, who nailed 3 spots dead-on (Atlanta, 13th; Islanders, 15th; Nashville, 10th). They predicted 2 divison winners (Washington, Detroit), but 2 of their choices for the division didn't make the tournament (Minnesota, Dallas). SI did correctly choose 7 of 8 Eastern conference playoff teams, a feat only duplicated by Bryan. Their folly: Ottawa at 8th, Carolina at 9th.
26 points

2nd Place
Our own Bryan had a very strong showing, hitting 5 spots correctly (Capitals, 2nd; Philadelphia, 5th; Atlanta, 13th; his beloved Islanders, 15th; Edmonton, 11th in West). He had 4 division winners. His two misses: Penguins to win the Atlantic and Calgary to win the Northwest. His only East playoff team to miss was Tampa Bay, whom he predicted to come in 7th. They ended 14th, and his 14th team, Carolina, came in 6th. Not bad for a rookie, although his Finals prediction of San Jose hoisting the Cup at Madison Square Garden will not happen. Hey, much like his Islanders, there's always next year.
27 points!

1st Place
It pains me, but that Eklund guy from that website again won our competition. His Eastern conference wasn't that great: his only 2-point play was Washington in 2nd, and he picked the Devils and Carolina to miss the playoffs while putting Ottawa and Buffalo in. But he made up for it in the West, correctly guessing the final positions of San Jose, Detroit, Chicago, Calgary, and Nashville. He did pick Edmonton to win their division instead of Vancouver, but he was one of only two (with Hradek) to pick Vancouver in the playoffs. He also was the only person to think San Jose would win the West, as the other 5 of us picked Detroit 1st in the conference. However, his long-term thinking is off: Both the Habs and Sharks lost in the 1st round and will not meet up in June.
28 points

Brian Burke: Nice Guy?...

A few days ago, my counterpart, Islanders blogger Bryan, wrote about how he respects Brian Burke.

Well, yesterday, Burke went on NHL Live (XM 204/Sirius 208/NHL Network) and made some incredible comments about Sean Avery referring to the girl who slept with Luke Wilson in Old School as "sloppy seconds." Incredible in the sense that I'm amazed he actually believes what he said.

First off, he found Avery's comments "personally offensive." I was not aware that he was such good friends with Elisha Cuthbert to take personal offense at Avery saying that she has dated other hockey players besides #16.

He then, for some reason, threw Fedor Fedorov and Terrell Owens under the bus. Interesting.

He also doesn't "think it should be acceptable" that Avery should make comments like he did.

For the record, Avery's comments to a bunch of Canadian reporters have generated more press for the game in America than Burke going from Anaheim to Toronto. Most common Americans don't even know who Brian Burke is.

I'm not defending Avery in what he said, just his right to say it. He was being smug, he was being stupid, he did it for attention, and he did it to stir up the other team. He probably didn't think it through and shouldn't have even said it in front of the press. He should've just said something to Dion Phaneuf after a whistle and tried to draw a retaliation penalty.

However, it baffles me why this would personally offend Burke. After all, this is the same man who, as GM of the Vancouver Canucks, dismissed the severity of Steve Moore's broken neck when his goon Todd Bertuzzi (whom he later signed in Anaheim) jumped him from behind and punched his paralyzed and bloody body on the ice. He said Bertuzzi's punishment was too severe.

Bertuzzi wound up getting 13 games for ending Moore's career. Avery has already been suspended 2 games and will likely receive more (I'm guessing 5 total) for saying a non-NHL entity has had more than one boyfriend.

Right now, Avery's comments are apparently on par with Mike Mottau headhunting Frans Nielsen and injuring him for 3-4 months, as they both have received suspensions of two games.

This makes me so angry that I cannot properly express it. It's reasons like this that the NHL is considered a joke, and if Gary Bettman was serious about the league gaining popularity, he would suspend those who injury on purpose and not those who put the league's name on ESPN's SportsCenter.

It's crap like this that makes me want to give up on the NHL.

Game of the Year

No, I'm not talking about today's Islanders-Flyers game. I will never understand the logic of scheduling games on holidays where half the working and college worlds will be unable to watch. Sure, kids are off from school, but it doesn't mean parents are automatically going to take their kids to the Coliseum. Hell, I worship hockey, and I wouldn't even spend a personal day at a hockey game. Days off from work are supposed to be spent doing as little as possible.

Anyway. Happened to catch the Red Wings-Penguins game on Versus tonight, and it's everything hockey should be. This isn't just because of the 7-6 final, though the high number of goals certainly doesn't hurt. The game was played at a high intensity throughout, and the Penguins' road comeback from a three-goal deficit is certainly something we're going to remember for a long time. (Note: Islander fans can now stop killing their team over Saturday night's game; even Stanley Cup winners blow three-goal leads at home to Pittsburgh.) With the national spotlight on this game, both teams delivered. If every game was like this, hockey would be back on the map in no time. Oh wait, I forgot... ESPN still won't pay attention because they don't air NHL games. Sorry.

Still, this was one of the best games I can remember seeing. It's probably the best I've seen since the memorable Finals between these two teams. People love to say how hockey used to be better in the '80s because of the high scoring, but it also had no defense and horrific goaltending. Tonight's game had the goals, but also some great defensive work and quality netminding by both Chris Osgood and Marc-Andre Fleury. Just about every player made at least one great play. That's all you can ask for.

As an Islander fan, I know the Stanley Cup isn't on the horizon anytime soon. So all I ask of my team is that someday, they play a game like this one. Give us a game we'll never forget, even if the result is a loss. We deserve at least that much. Same goes for Ranger fans as well. It doesn't need to be a championship. Just three hours of greatness. Is that too much to ask?

Tampa Bay Rays

So I was watching TBS a little while ago (sorry, Frank TV wasn't on) and watched the Tampa Bay Rays finish off the Chicago White Sox to win the American League Division Series. After recording the final out, the Rays rushed out of the dugout and started doing that thing where everybody jumps up and down and smacks each other on the head. After that, they retreated to the clubhouse for a champagne celebration.

Now, I'm happy for the Rays and all; seriously, who wouldn't be? This is a team that never even won 75 games in a season before this one, and yet they're now just four games from the World Series. They were left for dead while the arrogant fans of the Yankees and Red Sox proclaimed their overpriced teams as the best. And yet, Tampa Bay has had the last laugh; they'll be playing yet another $100 million payroll team in the ALCS despite having a payroll that roughly matches the combined annual wages of Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter.

Here's where I'm going with this. The Rays did a big celebration when they clinched a playoff spot. They did the same thing after clinching the AL East. Tonight, they did yet another celebration. That's three pileups on the mound. That's three champagne-soaked celebrations. And all the Tampa Bay Rays have done is win three lousy playoff games against a team that didn't even have a playoff spot until two days after the season ended.

Could you even imagine a hockey team acting like this? Let's pretend hockey players acted like baseball players. Let's rewind to last year's playoffs. The Montreal Canadiens have just defeated the Boston Bruins in the first round of the playoffs. It went seven games, but the top-seeded Habs came out victorious, almost in spite of themselves. Instead of congratulating their goalie and forming the traditional handshake line, they rush over to their goalie and mob him, jumping all over him in the crease. They skip the handshakes, then rush off to celebrate with their booze in the locker room, even though they've got a tough series against Philadelphia in two days. Never mind that the Canadiens had ten more points than Boston and probably should have beaten them in five games at the absolute max. They've got to have a party! After all, we need Fox Sports Montreal to be able to air their own post-game show in the contrived party so their quirky sideline reporter can be doused in champagne every two seconds.

Of course, the champagne-soaked spectacle is what TV wants. The handshake line, while extremely classy, doesn't get covered. Wait till the Red Sox win their series and ESPN jizzes all over themselves. You're going to see that damn celebration 8000 times over the next few days. Meanwhile, when a hockey team wins the right to play for the Stanley Cup and doesn't even crack a smile? Good luck finding highlights of that one.

How Good Are Predictions?...

We know the gig. Everyone from a famous magazine, to a beat writer, to a blogger, to a hack buying a sandwich at Hot & Crusty before a Rangers' game makes predictions on the season before the puck drops, based on trades, offseason signings, and personal biases. Yes, personal biases. How else do you explain me picking the Rangers to make the playoffs in 2005-06 when everyone had them as dead? How else do you explain me and Larry Brooks both proclaiming them Stanley Cup champions in 2006-07, or me sending them to the Finals again last year?

Well, ever wonder just how accurate these predictions are? Before last season, I wrote down predictions from 4 sources - me, Newsday's beat writer Steve Zipay, Eklund from that rumor website, and ESPN (don't know who wrote the article, though).

After the season, I wrote down the real finishing order of both conferences, compared, and contrasted. I gave 2 points if the team finished in the exact spot predicted, and 1 point if they finished in or out of the playoffs as predicted, but with a different finishing order. For Newsday, he just listed "playoff teams" without a specific order, so I gave him 2 points for every team that made the playoffs that he predicted. Okay, without further ado, the results...

Second Place (tie)

In last place was ESPN, who only predicted 2 out of 6 division winners correctly (San Jose and Detroit). They thought both Atlanta and the Southeast-winning Capitals would be worse than actual worst-in-the-league Tampa Bay. They did have a lot of playoff teams, especially in the West, where the only team they overlooked was Minnesota (giving the nod to the Canucks, instead). 

24 points

Second Place (tie)

The bronze medal goes to The Rivalry's own Zach, who homered like no other, picking the Rangers to win the Atlantic (2nd overall in the east behind Ottawa), then winning the Stanley Cup by beating Calgary. Wow. Both of my Finals teams were out by the 2nd round. I also only had two spots dead-on, as I correctly predicted the Red Wings-Predators first round match-up that was. I as well had Tampa Bay to win their division, but I also had Washington making the playoffs. Uh, I also had Toronto in the playoffs and conference-winning Montreal on the outside looking in. Predicting the Flyers and Bruins to miss the playoffs? My bad. Like ESPN, I had 7 of 8 playoff teams in, only choosing Vancouver over the Wild.

24 points

Second Place (tie)

Newsday's correspondent Steve Zipay decided to not list an order and just put in who he thought would skate in the playoffs. His East was not too good, picking the Leafs, Hurricanes, and Sabres over actual-playoff teams Boston, Montreal, and Washington. In the West, he redeemed himself, going the ever-popular 7 of 8. The only blemish on his record their was Vancouver's missing of the playoffs. The team he left out - Nashville.

24 points

First Place

As much as it pains me, that Guy from the Site that announced "rumors" came in first place last year. He predicted the Penguins to come in 2nd in the East, the Capitals to come in 3rd, the Red Wings to win the West (easiest and most popular pick there was, apparently). He also capitalized on being from Philadelphia by picking the Flyers to make the playoffs. His only two mistakes in the East were Buffalo and Toronto, as he left out the Bruins and the Devils. He actually predicted the Devils to finish in 14th, with only Atlanta below them. In the West, his one mistake was, yes, Vancouver. He left out Dallas, who ended up 5th and dispatched the defending champion Ducks. He had Dallas coming in 13th, behind lottery teams St. Louis and Los Angeles.

27 points

So, what did we learn here? It's pretty tough to accurately predict, which is why we can't take them too seriously. The time will come on this blog when me and Bryan will make predictions, and both will put our favorite team way too high on the list. Well, at least he will. I'll put the Rangers where they will be at season's end - 1st, and he'll put the Islanders where he hopes they'll be - 9th. 

And the moral of the story is not to pick the Vancouver Canucks to do anything except lose, a tidbit I should've remembered from the year after the lockout, when I predicted them and Ottawa to be in the Stanley Cup finals, only to have them not make the playoffs.

The NHL Network Drinking Game, Version 1.0

Truly, we are knee-deep in the dog days of summer.

Hockey is completely off the radar for many people. However, for those of us who want to keep it alive, it's a tough battle. We know better than to rely on ESPN for our sports news, but if we did, all we'd hear about are the Red Sox, the Yankees, and Brett Favre. Frankly, we've had enough. So we turn to the one ally that hasn't let us down yet - the NHL Network.

You thought I was going to say alcohol, didn't you? Well, you're in luck. We here at The Rivalry have got both bases covered. Stay cool with some frosty brews (we recommend Molson Ice) and some hockey action! What could be better? This drinking game is not necessarily designed to get you hammered, though you're more than welcome to actually play along if you'd like. Hey, anything's better than more Brett Favre news, right?

Enjoy!

Note: We chose not to create rules for the random playoff games they've been showing lately. Quite frankly, we can't in good conscience recommend watching Game 1 of some first-round series that didn't mean anything.

GENERAL RULES
These rules go for everything. The basics upon which the NHL Network is built.
- If your program is hosted by Dan Pollard - drink
- If your program is NOT hosted by Dan Pollard or Todd Lewis - check your listings; clearly, you aren't watching the NHL Network.
- If a Canadian team is prominently featured - drink
- If you're thrown off by the wrong feed (as in, you're expecting to hear Gary Thorne, but you hear Bob Cole instead) - chug
- If you catch an announcer being blatantly biased toward a Canadian team/player - drink
- If you catch an announcer categorizing a European as soft or lazy without a good reason - chug
- If the ticker on the bottom of the screen shows something that happened more than three days ago - chug
- If the program is clearly stalling for time (i.e. a Classic Series where the last segment has nothing to do with the series itself) - drink

NHL ON THE FLY
It's not currently airing... but those who watch it regularly during the season know it's the best NHL recap show out there.
- If the analyst is a coach that recently got fired - chug
- If an analyst is critiquing a player he coached/drafted - drink
- If the analyst awkwardly tries to take credit for that player's success - chug
- If you're watching a replay of On The Fly Final - take one drink for each time you've watched it already
- If you can tell the exact point in the intro when it switches from tonight's highlights to a pre-recorded package - chug
- If they play the other team's announcer's calls when showing your team's game - drink
- If the hosts trash your team - chug
- If there aren't any shootouts to recap at show's end - drink
- If the hosts are plugging a different game for "Our North American viewers" - drink

COMMERCIALS
Oh, boy... If you watch the NHL Network regularly, you probably want to kill yourself when these ads come on. But they're funny. Pick one that's "safe"; you're exempt from drinking during that ad. The rest, though, should have you blitzed in no time.
- If a commercial features Billy Mays, the patron saint of infomercials - chug
- If the commercial is a rather shady infomercial (My Free Laptop, etc.) - drink
- If it's a "Moment On Ice" - drink
- If you correctly guessed which "Moment On Ice" it was - chug
- Drink every time you hear the following phrases...
+ "Young Nathan has a rare blood disodda"
+ "It only takes about an ow-uh!"
+ "A little pahsta and a steak"
+ "There's no 'I' in hockey. Period."
+ "Government coupon pro-grum"
+ "The game has changed. So should the way you watch it."
+ "Hosted by" (as in, "Nobody cares who's hosting this crappy NHL DVD, but we're going to include it in the commercial anyway")
- Every time "The Coach" appears - drink
- If "The Coach" appears twice in a row - chug
- If someone recognizes "The Coach" from his bit role in "Tommy Boy" - chug
- If you've ever actually wondered why our sport isn't called puckey - kill the beer, then smash the bottle over your head
- If they show the ad about the digital converter boxes - drink
- If you find yourself wondering who would have this network (available on Cablevision only via a special package) and still be watching on an analog set - drink
- If the ad with the Stanley Cup being held by all the different players comes on - don't drink. Watch it and appreciate how awesome it is. Then take a long chug if you're convinced ESPN will rip this off for next year's NBA Finals and everyone will say how innovative it is.
- If one commercial is significantly louder than the others - drink
- If your spouse yells at you to turn the TV down because of that loud commercial - chug
- If a program ends with the "NHL Network" bumper ad and is followed immediately by an ad for the "Just Like Me" DVD - chug

NHL LIVE!
On hiatus until September 15th. Still, an awesome show.
- If you're watching the show on replay - drink - If E.J. Hradek isn't in the studio - drink
- If there's a cardboard cutout of E.J. in his place - chug
- If the cardboard cutout has been defaced in some way - chug again
- If the NHL Store looks empty - drink
- If you see someone make a purchase - drink
- If someone buys a jersey of a player who's no longer on that team - chug
- If Don trashes the media for treating the NHL unfairly - raise your bottle in agreement, then take a nice big swig
- If you ever catch Don (employed by ESPN Radio) or E.J. (employed by ESPN.com) on the verge of trashing ESPN, then think better of it and stop - drink
- If they actually go through with it - kill a beer
- If E.J. forgets who the day's hosts are - drink
- If a caller talks for more than a minute straight - drink
- If the hosts actually cut the caller off - chug

VINTAGE GAMES
The real shining star of the NHL Network. Enjoy the games of yesteryear while simultaneously enjoying some nice Canadian brew.
- If the game is in black and white - chug
- If there are no ads on the boards - drink
- If a goalie is wearing a Jason Voorhees mask - drink
- If a goalie is using an old waffle-style blocker - chug
- If the game is being played at an arena that doesn't exist anymore - drink
- If the arena still exists, but now has a corporate name - kill a beer
- Every time someone makes a remark about how much different the game looks (i.e. the goalie's equipment, the size of the players, the amount of open ice) - drink
- If a goalie lets in a particularly bad goal - drink
- If you can't tell which team is at home by the color of their uniforms because you aren't sure which color the home team wore during the game's time period - chug
- If a decent portion of the game is cut out with no explanation - chug
- If you see something that would be totally unacceptable today (i.e. a huge brawl, uncalled obstruction penalties) - drink
- If the game typifies the style of that era (i.e. a high-scoring game from the 80s, a snoozefest from the turn of the century) - drink

CLASSIC SERIES
Past playoff series, assembled for our viewing pleasure. Some are real duds; some truly are classics. All are to be enjoyed.
- If you already know what happens in the series - drink
- If it's a historically significant series (i.e. a Cup Final, Game 7 OT winner, etc.) - drink
- If a team tries changing their goalie to change their luck - drink
- If it actually works - kill a beer
- If a team's star player gets shut down - drink
- If the star player wakes up just in time to put the screws to the underdog - chug
- If an interview with the star player reveals that he "knew'd he'd start getting the bounces" - kill a beer
- If a coach complains to the media about the officiating - chug
- If a game ends with an overtime goal by a role player - drink
- If the series was a sweep - chug
- If a player picks up the conference championship trophy - kill a beer
- If they show the post-series handshake line - drink

EDIT: We forgot about the Top Ten. Whoops. That'll be covered in Version 2.0!

Proud Of Our Game

This Stanley Cup Final has had a lot of everything. Great action. Ridiculous ratings. The awkwardness of Ed Olczyk pretending he doesn't hold a grudge against the team that fired him. 24-7 coverage on the NHL Network, which is bordering on annoying.

But for us hockey fans, it's a little bit more than all that.

Think back to three years ago... or, technically speaking, two years and eight months ago. The NHL was just coming back as "The New NHL". A few months prior, the league held its' annual draft in a hotel conference room. The league had just literally given its' broadcast TV rights to NBC for no money. Perhaps worse than that, they had just signed with a network called the Outdoor Life Network for cable coverage. Of course, nobody got the Outdoor Life Network. ESPN effectively boycotted the NHL, pushing hockey virtually off the map in America.

Look at our game now. The quality of play is the best it's been since the mid-90s. The NHL boasts legitimate superstars that people who don't watch hockey actually care about. The OLN changed its' name to Versus and became an all-sports network, with hockey as its' centerpiece. The NHL held the Winter Classic this year, and what was once a one-off game in Edmonton has since become an annual affair whose destination is savagely debated. The NHL has its' own network that shows hockey throughout the day. Perhaps most remarkably of all, TV ratings are better than they were before the lockout.

How did the NHL do this? Consider for a second that the NHL built itself up from pretty much nothing to reach the highest points it's reached in a decade. And it was all without the promotional arm of ESPN shoving the sport down people's throats. What were the keys?

- The Lockout. It sounds stupid, but it's true. The lockout itself did a world of good for the game. The old NHL was broken. Too much trapping, too much clutching and grabbing, not enough scoring. The economics of the game were totally out of control, to the point that the league would have been in serious trouble without the work stoppage.

Over the last three years, many have asked if the lockout was worth it. Looking at the game now, I'd have to say it definitely was. Just about everything good about hockey is because the league took the opportunity to totally reinvent itself. Would Sidney Crosby be such a breakout superstar under the old rules? I doubt it.

- Versus. Of all the insults the major sports media throws at hockey - and God knows there are more than a few - the leader of the pack seems to be shots at the NHL's TV deal with Versus. Sure, the channel was hard to get at first; I didn't get it until Game 1 of the 2006 Stanley Cup Finals. But now, it's available on just about every digital cable system, meaning that argument doesn't hold too much water.

What's most important about Versus' contribution is the way they present the game. When the NHL was on ESPN, you got the impression that The WorldWide Leader was more concerned with cutting to SportsCenter or a late NBA game than going in-depth into hockey. That's not a problem on Versus, who has really given the NHL a home. We get weekly games on Monday and Tuesday with Versus, along with proper pre-game and post-game shows. That goes a long way toward building loyalty with viewers. Not to mention the fact that Versus pretty much shuts down in April and May to show every playoff game they can possibly get on air. If the NHL were still on ESPN, their games would be bumped onto ESPN Classic so they could show more NBA shows on ESPN and ESPN2.

(Speaking of ESPN, doesn't it say something that even they have been forced to significantly up their coverage of the NHL these playoffs? That might be the biggest sign of all that the NHL is back.)

- Pittsburgh vs. Detroit. The game has been improving steadily over the past three seasons, both in quality and in building an audience. But it takes casual viewers to make something a hit, and this year's Stanley Cup Final was the perfect way to showcase "The New NHL". It's not so much that hockey died in America as much as nobody had a reason to care about it. I'll admit, it's hard to sell a casual sports fan on the merits of the Edmonton Oilers or Ottawa Senators. But the Penguins, with all their star power, and the perennial giants in Detroit? That's just too much.

And the proof has been in the pudding; in this case, TV ratings. The night the Detroit Pistons were bounced from the NBA playoffs, more people in Detroit were watching hockey. This year's ratings have almost doubled last year's across the board, and Game 5's rating is comparable with what the NBA has been getting for their playoffs. Mind you, this is with infinitely less promotion and media coverage. And if you incorporate Canadian viewers, it's quite likely that more North Americans are watching the Stanley Cup than the NBA.

As happy as I am to see the Finals go one more game - even if I was asleep when the goal was scored - I'm so much happier for the game of hockey. Even after the lockout, just about all of us have silently wondered if the NHL would make it. This is a tribute to all of those fans who kept watching in spite of the insults of just about everybody else. Finally, we have our day in the sun - we've certainly earned it.

Exposure, ESPN, And Selling Out

I happened to catch NHL Live on the NHL Network yesterday, thanks to a week-long cold that refuses to go away. The show itself was pretty okay, but there were two topics addressed on the show that really got me thinking.

The first one came up just minutes into the show. The topic of the Boston Red Sox and Oakland A's opening up the Major League Baseball season in Japan was mentioned, and host Don LaGreca was not very impressed by this move. LaGreca said, paraphrased, "It's a joke. Major League Baseball opens up and nobody even knows about it, and nobody says a word. God forbid the NHL did something like this, you'd never hear the end of it." And he's right. You didn't hear many good words about the Ducks and Kings opening the season in England; instead, all you heard about was how miserable the teams were and how the fans wanted to see a fight. Aside from the whole flap about the Red Sox assistants not being paid, have you heard even one bad word about MLB's trip to Japan? I doubt it.

The second, and more critical point, came later when Patrick and Jonathan Roy were inevitably brought up. Both LaGreca and E.J. Hradek bashed the media, stating they only show highlights of hockey in times of a violent incident. Hradek mentioned the name of Steven Stamkos, an OHL player who may very well be the first overall pick in 2008. Stamkos scored four goals on Tuesday night and didn't get one-millionth of the publicity the Roys did. While it might be unreasonable to expect the American media to get all over some kid from Ontario, Hradek's point was well taken.

The simple truth is that the media loves negativity. Look at Britney Spears. They play her songs and keep her in the public eye, just so they can bash her. It's the same with the NHL. What stories have hit the major mainstream media over the past five years? The Todd Bertuzzi incident, the lockout, the Rick Tocchett gambling ring, the first Chris Simon incident, the Winter Classic, the second Chris Simon incident, and the Jonathan Roy incident. Of those seven things, only one painted hockey in a positive light. But what else would you expect when you don't have the promotional wing of ESPN in your corner?

Ah, yes... ESPN. Remember them? The network that used to air NHL games. Did you ever notice how, once they stopped broadcasting hockey games, they ceased virtually all coverage of the sport? As ESPN's ombudsman, the excellent Le Anne Schreiber noted last year, coverage of the NHL on SportsCenter was down 28 percent from three years prior, when the games were still on ESPN. Hmm.

It's a personal belief of mine that ESPN is out to ruin the NHL and make it look bad, just because big bad ESPN can. If you regularly visit ESPN.com, you may remember a headline on the front page about the NHL's record-low Stanley Cup Finals ratings. However, what you might not have seen a week later was the article about the all-time low rating for NBA Finals play on ABC. ABC and ESPN are both owned by Disney. Hmm.

Get the picture? Get ESPN in your corner, you're gold. Turn your back on ESPN, and you're facing an extremely tough battle. Need proof? Look at Arena Football, which ESPN bought and shoved down our throats. Major League Soccer signed a new deal with ESPN in 2006 which not only got them a weekly prime-time game, but increased time on SportsCenter and more exposure on ESPN.com. And if you're wondering what the big deal is about ESPN, it's simply America's most popular sports outlet, which essentially means it dictates the sports-watching trends for America. If you're not prominently featured, you're in trouble. And that's the predicament the NHL finds itself in.

Rumors were swirling last summer that the NHL and ESPN were talking again, but it appears as though nothing came of the discussions. The NHL re-upped with Versus, and there's still a chance ESPN could come on board if Versus were willing to drop its status as the NHL's exclusive cable partner. Time will tell if that will ever come to pass.

The thing of it is, as much as the NHL needs ESPN, I really don't want them to come to terms. As much as people love to bash Versus for not being very available on cable (and, quite frankly, neither is the NFL Network or NBA TV), the network has done a great job with the NHL package. They've made hockey a real event on Versus; even if that's only because WEC Wreckage and PBR Rodeo haven't hit the big time yet, it's still impressive. Let's face it, when ESPN aired the NHL, the sport was sort of an afterthought. You got the impression that they couldn't wait for the game to end so they could throw it back to SportsCenter. And once ESPN got a hold of the NBA, the NHL really got the shaft. At least Versus programs an entire two nights around hockey, whereas ESPN would just show random games, Dodge Intermission Reports, NHL2Night, and that was about it. Come to think of it, aside from the opportunity to hear Gary Thorne calling hockey on a regular basis again, there's not much I'd welcome about ESPN's potential return.

That said, I'm all about what's best for the league. And the truth is that ESPN would do a world of good for the NHL. Not just in terms of coverage on SportsCenter and all the other frills, but for purposes of credibility as well. I think we all want the NHL to be seen as a legitimate top sport, and now's a good a time as any. The game is better than it has been at any time since the '94 lockout, and the American sporting public needs to see what the NHL has to offer. I'm sick of Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin being the only two people to crack the main page of ESPN.com. I want the whole league to be embraced and promoted, the way it should be. And I'm more than willing to watch my favorite sport sell out to ESPN to make that happen. Truly, it's the only possible way.

Frozen Out

According to Steve Zipay, the Rangers are among the favorites to play in the next Winter Classic... and they're not likely to face the Islanders. Ugh.

There's already opposition from the baseball world against giving the Rangers the nod, mainly because some purists feel Yankee Stadium's final act shouldn't be a hockey game. Well, better a hockey game than another first-round exit, right? Besides, does it really matter? Trust me, if the Yankees win the World Series, nobody will be complaining about a hockey game being played two or three months afterward.

The big issue, at least from an Islander fan's perspective, is the fact that the Isles are far from a favorite to be included. Rumor has it that the NHL and NBC both want an Original Six team; Zipay says Red Sox owners are pushing for a home-and-home between the Rangers and Bruins. That would ruin the Winter Classic more than the Islanders ever could. However, it's more than a decent possibility, thanks to the one force that nobody can fight in the sports world.

You guessed it. ESPN.

That's right. The same network that is trying its best to kill the NHL could be the most influential figure in the destination of the Winter Classic. We all know that, in ESPN's world, only three teams matter - the Yankees, the Red Sox, and the Patriots. Every other sports team in the world is tied for fourth. As such, ESPN would love nothing more to fellate itself one more time to the proverbial porn that is the Boston-New York rivalry. Horrid imagery aside, the truth is that ESPN would promote the hell out of this thing, just to shove the whole Yankees-Red Sox dynamic even futther down our throats. Even if it means actually acknowledging hockey as a legitimate sport.

In such a scenario, the Islanders would be on the outside looking in. And you know what? They kind of deserve to be.

I know, I know. When I first read the news about the Islanders potentially missing out on the opportunity to play in the Winter Classic, I was pretty upset. Offended, even. After all, the Islanders are the ideal opponent for the Rangers; certainly, the Islanders are the most hated of the Rangers' many rivals. Why would the NHL forgo an ideal opponent for another tired rehash of the New York-Boston rivalry? Or, even worse, some other Original Six team that has no beef with the Rangers?

However, if you really think about it, it's clear why the Islanders aren't high on the NHL's list and, more importantly, even futher down on NBC's list. The reality is that the Islanders just don't draw. They only sell out on weekends, holidays, and when the Rangers come to town. Their TV ratings, while significantly improved, are still rather dismal. Not only did they not get on NBC's Sunday schedule before falling out of the playoff race, but they weren't even considered to be part of NBC's flex schedule. Get the picture?

The sad part is, if the Islanders had even won one playoff round this year, they might have a very strong case for inclusion in what has already become the NHL's showcase. The NHL is very big on promoting individual superstars these days - just look at the aggressive marketing of Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin for proof of that. Rick DiPietro, if he had an above-average supporting cast, could conceivably join that group. He has all the makings of a star; the one thing he's missing is a deep playoff run to cement him as an elite goalie in the minds of hockey fans everywhere. If the Islanders had that run this year, the whole team would have gained a ton of stature with the general public and might have had a shot at moving up to the next level. Sadly, it wasn't meant to be.

Ultimately, the Winter Classic isn't a game intending to please hockey fans. Instead, it's the NHL's best effort to convert new fans. And, while hockey fans might love to see Isles-Rangers in Yankee Stadium, the average sports fan who doesn't care about hockey is far more inclined to see the Rangers play the Bruins, Flyers, or any of the other large-market, recognizable teams out there. It's a shame, too, because the Islanders could put on a great show if given the opportunity. However, they ruined their own chance to do so.