To Hammer Home a Point / The Paul Mara & Colton Orr Story...

Last night, the Philadelphia Phillies won the National League pennant. For all of you who are immeasurably bored by the sport of baseball (like I am), that means they are going to play in the World Series. (Technically speaking, shouldn't it be called the North American Series? Or the American and One Canadian Team Series?)

Of course, they whipped out the bubbly, and soaked everyone in the locker room with the best champagne that expensive tickets paid for.

For that reason alone, I hope they lose the World Series. Although, to be honest, Tampa Bay or Boston will do the same celebration when they clinch the American League pennant.

As Bryan said a few weeks ago, you shouldn't celebrate until you've won it all. You don't celebrate the right to play for a championship. You celebrate the championship itself. The Penguins, for as much as I was against them in the playoffs last year, didn't celebrate beeating the Flyers with Moet & Chandon and plastic-coated locker rooms. The Red Wings beat Dallas and knew they had more hill to climb before they could enjoy a celebration.

Remember when the Mets clinched the division title and came out on the field with a cigar in his mouth like he just had a newborn baby? He also held a sign gloriously above his head saying "2006 NL East Champs" with the zero's in 2006 replaced by Mets' symbols? How dumb do you think he felt when the Mets blew it in Game 7 of the NLCS?

I really don't have a point other than baseball is a self-serving, boring, overrated sport with a bunch of overgrown, overpaid children wearing tights. I really think the only reason people like it is because it's slow enough to watch. As a girl I know told me a few weeks ago, "It goes slow. I can follow it. Hockey is too fast."

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Paul Mara took an awful five-minute major last night. While I applaud his passion and his right to stand up for himself, I think the timing was off. Yes, this guy has now jumped up on him on two separate checks, one resulting in time on the IR. And yes, the guy is a punk trying to make a name for himself by injuring people. (Did anyone really know Darcy Tucker before he took out Michael Peca's knees in 2002?) However, it gave Buffalo two points.

However, that's the reason there are enforcers. As much as Sam and Joe and Dave Maloney tell us that his skating and stickhandling have improved tenfold, that's why Colton Orr is sitting on the bench. He shouldn't be fighting the other teams enforcer 3 minutes into the game. But when someone asks Mara "How's your face?" and then leaves his feet on a check, Mara should let it go, check him hard into the boards, then have Colton Orr destroy him on the next shift.