Sunday, February 22, 2009

Breaking News...

WESTCHESTER, NY - It was leaked today from a source inside the New York Rangers organization that Petr Prucha is responsible for shooting and killing Tom Renney’s dog, Scratch. The accidental killing of the Bullmastiff happened in mid-October, but details started emerging Thursday.


Coach Renney, when confronted by reporter Dan Pagano, immediately confessed that this news is indeed true. In retaliation, Mr. Renney said, he has been benching Mr. Prucha often since the incident.


Mr. Renney has claimed that he will only put Mr. Prucha in for sporadic, three- or six-game stretches throughout the season, regardless of performance.


Certain members of the team, including captain Chris Drury and defenseman Michal Rozsival, have spoken directly to Mr. Renney, clamoring for Mr. Prucha in the lineup and offering to pay for grievance sessions for Mr. Renney. Thus far, the four-and-a-half-year coach has refused.


“We need his enthusiasm, spirit, and offensive skills playing for us every night. I believe Coach Renney knows this, but he is refusing to play him,” Mr. Drury said before the Rangers game against the Toronto Maple Leafs on Sunday.


Mr. Rozsival added, “I think he knows we need [Mr.] Prucha in uniform, but he keeps going back to Aaron Voros. I don’t understand.”


Mr. Rozsival and then Mr. Drury then debated on if Mr. Renney really believed Mr. Voros adds to the team, even though his stats (1 point, minus-6 in the last 20 games) stand firmly against that standpoint.


On the contrary, Mr. Prucha has 2 points in his last 4 games, although he is a minus-1 in the same span. In a span of 6 games from December 29, 2008 to January 10, 2009, he notched 2 goals, 3 assists, and was a plus-1.


Mr. Renney also confided to Mr. Pagano that to spite Mr. Prucha, he will play Mr. Voros on the power play. This drew the ire of players, as well.


“It’s bad enough that I get put on the power play. What business does Aaron Voros have being out there, especially with the game on the line? Scratch was a good dog, but Coach Renney is going to lose his job if we keep losing,” said Wade Redden.


As is his nature, Mr. Prucha politely declined being interviewed for this story at first, but later changed his mind. He said, “I know what I did was wrong, and Coach knows it was an accident. However, this team is starved for offense and passion, both of which I bring every single night. I have bought him three other dogs. I don’t know how [many more I have to buy] him before he does what is best for this team and sits Aaron. Putting him on the power play, a position he can’t play at all, is like spitting in my face.”


Mr. Prucha has admitted to his mistake, and he - and the team - hope Renney can admit his and fix it. The Rangers next play in Toronto on Wednesday, and the players all individually told Mr. Pagano that they hope Mr. Prucha plays instead of Mr. Voros.



The preceding story was a work of fiction. The writer of the story has no connections to the New York Rangers or any of the real-life people mentioned in it.

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