This is what I expect to happen on July 1 at noon, the start of free agency...
- TSN/Versus to have awkward coverage from noon until 2:00, when the signings start to happen. People like Ed Olczyk and Pierre McGuire (whose real name, by the way, no joke, is Regis) will sit talking about what might happen and periodically write text messages to other people, fishing for a story, while on the air.
- Colton Orr will not be offered a contract with the Rangers. On a related note, expect a lot more mangames missed in 2009-10 to injury without an enforcer in the lineup (remember the awful decision to sit him in Game 6 and what Donald Brashear did to Blair Betts?).
- The Islanders will sign an enforcer to protect John Tavares, Kyle Okposo, and Josh Bailey, much like the Capitals did when they signed Brashear to protect Alex Ovechkin. By the way, Orr and Brashear are both unrestricted free agents.
- Marian Hossa will sign on in Pittsburgh, citing "I think the Penguins give me the best chance to win a Cup, and I'm just happy to be here... again."
- The Rangers will not make a big splash in the free agent pool for once, mostly because they'll have no Cap-space due to 4 big splashes in the past 2 Julys.
- Noticing that they only have Aaron Voros, Mark Bell, and Brian Boyle under contract, the Rangers will go and sign another "gritty" 3rd/4th line winger who can't fight and won't score. Oh, what? Ryan Hollweg is a free agent? Quick, give him a million dollars!
- Glen Sather will once again laugh at Nik Antropov wanting $5M for his 59 points last year, while basking in the fact that he gave Chris Drury over $7M for comparable numbers.
- Bill Guerin will stay in the Atlantic division, either re-signing in Pittsburgh, or heading to Philadelphia or back to New Jersey.
- No free agents will want to play on Long Island again, regardless of who they drafted 1st overall.
- Both the Islanders and Rangers will want Mike Cammallari and his 40-goal season, but won't be able to sign him. The Rangers won't because they have no money, and the Islanders won't because, well, see above.
- The Sedin twins will not get their 12-year contracts because no GM in their right mind would give away two contracts to people who will be 40 when they expire. And no GM would be willing to pay $6M against the Cap to two different players when they are 37, 38, 39, or 40. Except, of course, Glen Sather, but luckily, the Rangers have no Cap room.
- Blair Betts and Freddy Sjostrom will not re-sign in New York. On a related note, the #1 PK will fall to around #15 or so, and Drury, Brandon Dubinsky, Michal Rozsival, etc., will be too tired to do anything on offense from playing so much PK-time.
- Journeyman Mike Sillinger will retire.
- Sather will forfeit 4 1st round draft picks by sending a $6.5M offer sheet to Vancouver for horrendously out-of-shape Kyle Wellwood.
- Instead of big, mean, passionate Antropov, Sather will opt for gutless, fancy, non-scoring Nik Zherdev.
- Instead of going for a good defenseman like Rob Scuderi, Mike Komisarek, Mattias Ohlund, or Francois Beauchemin, they'll probably take a salary-eater like Hal Gill or Marc-Andre Bergeron.
- Scuderi... Islander? He's in line a for big raise and they have the Cap-space, and he's from Syosset.
You, sir, are my new best friend. Nice to see someone else who thinks along these lines. Hope you have a lot of alchol ready, so you can drink yourself into a coma after the July 1 debacle.
ReplyDeleteAgreed on just about all accounts. I honestly can't see anybody laying out for both Sedinds, especially not on 12-year contracts. Jeez. Anyway, I'd love to see the Isles make a move for a guy like Chris Neil or even Orr; either way, they need an enforcer who plays more than 2 minutes a game. The Rangers can (and will) sign someone because they can go 10% over the cap for now. You know Sather will just be like, "I'll figure it out later," and that will be that.
ReplyDeleteYou know, the Isles have the room to sign both Sedins, and with Bailey, Tavares, Weight, Daniel and Henrik, Nielsen, Bergie, Comeau, and Okposo, that could be a formidable offense.
ReplyDelete